My wife is in the Navy, and she literally just got back from deployment. I am a Christian and am raising our son while she was gone, and am about to go to Chaplaincy school for Naval chaplaincy. Here are my reasons why I think she’s been sleeping around on me:
1. While she was gone, she hit a port and didn’t tell me she was there until I confronted her with it (she went dark, no messaging or anything, for days). I knew she was there, because an old friend of mine was in the same strike group and had posted days prior about it. Yet, she didn’t even call home to even check on her own son, who she hadn’t seen nor talked to in over 45 days.
2. She had a liberty buddy that was a dude, who she also stayed in a hotel with. I kind of backed her in a corner to admit this information.
3. She bought condoms and took them with her as well as birth control. I found the birth control in her seabag when she got home, and I discovered that she bought condoms from our Walmart account. She claimed she gave the condoms away as a gag gift, yet I found them opened in her seabag, and half were used. Also, she claimed to buy the birth control to use with me, despite the fact she’s never used it and got it the day before she deployed and even took it with her.
4. She admitted that she went to clubs every night when she was in port. Everyone different, but I don’t think a married woman should be in clubs.
5. Everything in this post she hid from me until I found out through backing her in a corner or finding it myself.
6. She gets mad any time I act suspicious about these activities and tells me I’m a psychopath.
7. I bought her a Bible, and, despite the fact that It’s not even big, she made a gigantic deal about how she couldn’t take it with her because she had no room, all while at the same time she buys countless amounts of stuff while deployed from Amazon to increase her looks, from wogs to nails to makeup to even a lot of clothes. It makes no sense that, if she has little room, she can still manage to get all that stuff.
8. She posted pictures that she has since deleted a few of, of her with a bunch of dudes while at sea on FB. Now, keep in mind she doesn’t post anything on Facebook with me nor our son.
9. When she pulled in, she literally did not want me there showing her any kind of emotion (you know, like spouses who haven’t seen each other in a while do) at homecoming. Plus, she came out much later than everyone else, pretty much after everyone had left.
Those are my reasons why I think she slept around on me. It really hurts, because I’m a God-fearing loyal husband who is busting my behind in raising our son. All I’m asking is, do I have the right to be suspicious here, or am I taking this out of proportion?
47 comments
Yes kinda hard to explain away used condoms umm eww.
The fact that you had to back her to corner to get her to admit to some of the things she’s been doing smh, you have every right to be suspicious.
I am sorry brother. You make a strong (albeit circumstantial) case.
Birth control could be for several reasons. The condoms, however, highly suggest she cheated. I’m not religious myself and sounds like she’s not too keen on it, hence why she refused to take your bible. You are clearly very religious. Sounds like incompatibility on a deeper level.
Look compadre all the signs point to her cheating. The good thing is you’re only 32 years old. Plenty of time left to focus on yourself and your son.
Dude you don’t need to wonder. Half used box of condoms, birth control, shady behavior, going dark for days, shes checked out and cheating you. You know it. Have some self-respect and leave her. Get a divorce lawyer. Show your son what a strong man does. Burst her affair fog and show her the consequences of her actions.
Sounds sus to me. I think you are correct, she is cheating.
Holy shit this makes me sad. Yes, it’s way too many signs to ignore. I would look into a divorce and lawyer up before this gets really bad. Hopefully some more experienced redditors have some sound advice for you here.
How much more evidence do you need man? She’s making it blatantly obvious and you’re still questioning it?
I just want to thank everyone here. I have always heard reddit was a bad place, but you guys have made me think otherwise.
she’s so clearly cheating. please lawyer up immediately
ex-navy here. all my money is on her cheating. seriously, all the red flags and i’ve seen it possibly hundreds of times
Buddy! I think you need to read your post. You will answer your own question. Time to move on.
Time to contact her command.
Cheating while in the military is a major infraction.
She’s definitely cheating.
You know what’s happening. Be ready to be a single dad.
Was she in the navy before you had your kid?
Get your ducks in a row, lawyer up, and dip on out of there with your son!
Prepare to divorce her. She is absolutely cheating on you!!!
OP, she’s not only cheating, she’s enjoying her time away from being a mom. She’s taking full advantage of you being there for your kid while she gets to play away while deployed.
You don’t need a weatherman to tell you which way the wind is blowing.
She fucked.
Source: used to be in the navy
There are military codes of conduct relating to adultery. Talk to a lawyer and then have that lawyer also report it to her command.
The condoms are a huge red flag by themselves. All the other stuff individually, maybe not, but together… huge red flag.
Lawyer up, hit the gym, you need to focus on your son now, and find someone that respects and treats you like a partner.
It’s the military bro. There is a reason there is over a 90% divorce rate in the military.
Oh yeah, she’s been cheating. She is checked out. At least you already know you can do it on your own. She has an opened box of condoms. And birth control. Nothing ambiguous about that.
where there’s smoke, there’s fire. she’s gaslighting you with poorly thought out excuses. If she was using birth control patches like you mentioned, it takes some time for them to become effective. so that’s where the condoms probably came into play. which explains why only a few were used.
The fact that you had to corner her together to admit to it means she was lying over and over. She’s been going clubbing and drinking every night. and she scrubbed her social media and will post photos of men of no significance. yet the men that are supposed to be the most significant in her life….you and her son, She won’t even call let alone post a photo.
I’m sorry but she’s no longer behaving like a wife or treating you like a husband. seems like she’s just treating you as the babysitter.
Based on the context you have given, I would say the best case scenario is your wife is someone’s boat boo. The worst case scenario is that she is in actual relationships with one or more people on deployment. As a future chaplain, your wife does not share your values, and it is unlikely that she ever will. You already know what you need to do.
I’m sorry, it’s rough. I went through something similar with my first husband. Please take this advice and move with kids while she is gone. Pls do not waste your time trying to forgive or gaining back trust. It is extremely painful and she’s not being a great mother either. I’m really really sorry but pls do not waste anymore time of this.
May GOD BLESS you brother. I THINK you need to have a Serious talk with a Lawyer ! This is something you should not have to Deal with . ALSO you are still young enough to start All over !
If 1 And 2 Didn’t make you believe, then 3 should have done it.
Bless your heart, of course she is.
The missing condoms are smoking guns. If she didn’t sleep with anyone, why buy them? And since she did buy them, why are any used?
The no pictures of you or your son on FB is also a red flag. It sure looks like she doesn’t want any guys to know she’s married & has a kid.
If she’s not fooling around while on duty she sure is doing a horrible job of not making it look like she is.
UpdateMe!
You already know the answer friend. Way too many red flags.
Where there’s that much smoke, there’s a fire somewhere IMO. I feel so sorry for you because I too was cheated on, lied to, and finally forced to face the truth after I couldn’t deny it and deceive myself any longer. Keep the faith, move on with your son, and have confidence that you’ll find someone else to make your happily forever after.
Report to her command about conduct unbecoming. The military really looks down on cheating especially if she’s banging lower ranks or superior ranks
You have the right. Too many 🚩
Ah Doy.
Trust your gut on this occasion.
From all you’ve listed , she def putting it about sorry bro.
Update us
You want to be a Chaplain, would you feel alright with Her as your wife with all the doubts and evidence? You don’t need her bringing you down. Move on, and find a good partner who shares your beliefs and values
The military is not designed by its very nature to support marriage or family – no other occupation has the travel and deployments in it as they do. Law enforcement is the only other occupation with as high a divorce rate as the military. Sorry that this happened to you, brother.
I truly appreciate all you kind folks commenting here. Truly means a lot! Is there any way I could catch her? The thing about the military, they need hard evidence. Like we’re talking iron clad proof there was an affair going on.
Also, you know, I guess I knew the answer for a while. I just was in denial.
What you say to someone who came to you as a chaplain asking for advice?
She’s 100% cheating on you and you know it, you may also want to consider paternity testing your son.
Yeah didn’t need all the other clues , had me at condoms and birth control
Lawyer up and follow his advice
U have to show her actions have consequences and end this relationship.
Release her get child support and rebuild your life with
Your son and eventually u will find a good woman
Who will love u both.
Because she doesn’t.
She made that perfectly clear by not calling.
Good luck
This has to be the biggest troll post of all time and people fell for it. DAMN!