I have met a number of guys (50+ years old) who are very unaware of those around them when it comes to socialising.
For example having a conversation with somebody but not paying any attention to what the other person is saying, and instead just talking about themselves. Those types of bad people skills.
What causes that? Is it old age or is it that life has hurt them and they reject anything anyone else says in case they get hurt again?
16 comments
Nah, we just give less fucks the older we get.
On a serious note. I think those kinda people always had that in them. I don’t think everyone is like that.
I think mine have gotten better with age. However, as you get older, you have fewer fucks to give so that could be it.
If this is a dating thing, could be a reason they are single
What is a people skill?
>For example having a conversation with somebody but not paying any attention to what the other person is saying, and instead just talking about themselves.
There is no age requirement for being a dick. I tend to not pay attention because the conversation loses my attention by being about something mundane like the weather or sports instead of something interesting like fiction, space, science and technology.
But there is also the “I dont give a fuck any more” view. I know my dont give a fuck attitude has increased alot over the past few years and I’m still a bit from 40.
We get tired of expending the mental effort to deal with inane babble.
It takes a lot of extra effort to “have people skills”.
I’m in that category/age range. For me what you are describing is the speaker is not authentic and attempting to control a narrative.
Many younger people want to achieve success and have a higher education this making them feel superior. But what they lack is actual experience and experiences. Your thought or idea delivered in a articulate way does not mean we must go down that road.
Also another example. Let’s take sexual choices. Younger people have become so demanding in their choices of sexuality. Just because you are trans/poly doesn’t mean the other person needs to support or agree with you. They just don’t. So attacking a raging against the person is a waste of time.
Older men don’t want to waste their time on bad ideas or conversations.
Assuming we had them in the first place is brave. But if we did, no we don’t lose them. We just lost most of our fucks we had to give.
wait – what ? Men have peeple skillz?
no. im a tv director, my job is (in part) to make people feel comfortable- im better at it now – 50 than when I was 20.
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these guys just sounds like dicks. Some people DO become more dickish was they get older.
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but I suspect you know this. it’s a bit like cars – you probably noticed the crashed ones more.
People suck at communication in general, and don’t work on getting better. Chances are if they suck at listening now, they always have. That said, the person they’re talking to could just be shit at communication as well, or just talking about something not interesting to the other party.
i think they just get tired with the bs
I’ve found my social skills have improved a lot now at 33. I think there’s a lot of older guys that are lonely or insecure about their mediocrity.
When my now wife and I started dating her cousin was a young looking high school kid. Now he’s finishing a PhD at an Ivy league, worked for NASA, and has his name on some pretty crazy research. Awesome guy, but sometimes feelings of inadequacy sneak in. So I’d imagine it’s similar for someone in their 50s who lived a totally mediocre life hearing a group of successful 20 or 30 somethings talking about cool careers, travel, women, etc. Being short may just be a defense mechanism.
My ex wife was like this and she definitely wasn’t a 50+ male. What you are observing is typically symptoms of a narcissistic personality.
My brother in christ, most men never developed people skills in the first place, not sure if you’ve noticed that or not.
If you work at it, communication skills should be at their peak at 50 plus. Life experiences, manturity, empathy and perspective are all there if you use them.
Most people don’t.
I can see the case for social skills atrophying with the typical male life cycle – you have a LOT more friends from 15 to 35 than you do from 35 to 50 plus. You stop talking as much, stop meeting as many new people, and you do start to lose those skills that used to be second nature.
I’m in sales and rentals, so I have no shortage of people to communicate with, plus managing employees, so it keeps me somewhat sharp.
But yeah, if you don’t use social skills, they will deteriorate.
They might get more lonely which in turn hurts how they interact with the world.
No just more selective/deliberate with them