What makes a conversation feel forced with a new person?

8 comments

1. When it doesn’t flow and I have to keep thinking of conversation starters. Easiest way to tell that someone doesn’t want to talk is if they are just given one liner responses or is looking at their phone/computer/anything else when you talk to them.

2. When they do that really overly exaggerated yawn before they say something. Just say what you wanna say

3. excessive nodding

4. I went on a date once and they said “tell me a crazy story”

   …that’s not quite how it works. I talk and then my crazy stories are naturally released thru the conversation process

5. Dishonesty. If you’re not attracted to someone, say so in the first 5 minutes and don’t waste anyone’s time. A lot of time people will date because they want to use someone.

6. You don’t know what you have in common so can’t relate so you’re looking. Why you think people talk about the weather?? Cause it’s an experience we all have in common! Imagine saying oh the weather never affects me, I can’t perceive weather. You’d be a freak. Also you don’t know the other person’s sense of humor so any attempt to ease things you’re shooting blind.

7. Disconnect from emotion or incompatibility. In my case it’s often the former not the latter.

   When you have burgeoning emotion within you while being sensitive to the emotion of the other person/people, a certain chemistry naturally forms that makes the flow of the conversation self sustaining and, when it’s time to neatly conclude, self concluding.

   Socializing is like playing in an orchestra. No song lasts forever and it’s all about working together to create a memorable tune. Songs achieve this by appealing to our emotions.

8. When im doing all the heavy lifting.