I F23 have been on a lot of dates and had relationships in the past. My friends who are women and I talk about men and dating and they explain to me how they get butterflies, excited and sometimes a little nervous. I’ve been single for a year now I’ve been on the dating apps and met a lot of new men that I just felt never met up to my standards for a lot of different reasons. But I seem to never get nervous or excited butterflies as my friends explain. Why is that? In a way I wish I felt that.
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are you asexual? do you get horny and desire physical intimacy?
🤷♂️
Without knowing you, it could be anything from “you aren’t meeting the right men” to “maybe you are gay” to “it sounds like you have low level depression”.
When you meet/date men — who does the approaching/pursuing? Maybe switch that up. *shrug*
The butterflies we feel can be associated with our fight or flight response, such as being stressed, anxious, nervous or excited.
If you don’t get butterflies, it’s not a big deal bc not everyone’s the same.
Could mean many things, like you don’t get nervous easily or could be your mind refusing to get overly excited due to a potential let down. I’ve never gotten them – yet I’m happily married with a family. Doesn’t mean much imo so don’t stress it.
I don’t get nervous around women I’m not particularly attracted to, can communicate in a platonic way no problem, maybe you’re just not very attracted to the guys you’ve had experience with? Do you get nervous when taking to anyone at all? If you don’t feel any excitement period kinda sounds like depression if that’s the case to be honest.
Some people dont.
I myself never have felt “the spark”
I can’t understand what people are talking about when they try to explain it.
I develop attraction to people over time
This is sadly not compatible with instant gratification modern dating
For yourself though i think maybe you havent found the right person is all.
Maybe you just didn’t meet the right guy yet? Are you going on dates with men you have common interests with? Do you think they’re physically attractive?
Coz the right one hasn’t come along.. once you get the right person, it will happen 😊
Thank you for responding. I also want to add I’m a full time nursing student (I graduate next year) and do have of added on stress during the semesters. I’m off for the summer and don’t have to worry about exams and such but I still feel the same as I do during the school months regarding dating. I dated a man a year ago now and to me he was emotionally and physically attractive (I believed he was the hottest guy I met) but ultimately that relationship ended for a few reasons. Maybe subconsciously im looking for that again but I also have to take a step back and realize a connection and the “whole package” is not easy to find and not put so much pressure on dating. I agree therapy should be normalized. Who knows maybe my ex and I would still be together if he would of agreed to do therapy with me. thank you again for you advice
It came out recently that the whole “feeling butterflies in your stomach” is your body trying to warn you. Like a natural response to a red flag of some sort
You haven’t met me yet.
I’d focus on making new friends in a coed fashion. The excitement of having a tight knit group of people to go out with and get to know would provide a lot stimulus. It’s a better environment to develop feelings if you fall into a demi-sexual spectrum and to meet more people in general as you all are bringing in your friends and acquaintances occasionally.
It could also give you an opportunity to analyze your feelings for the same sex in contrast to the opposite sex people in the group. Asexuality is also an option and these supportive networks can be even more helpful.
If you want to try an app like HER you can join and add questioning asexual to your profile. Talk to people about it there and meet up too.
Maybe you are a bit self centered.
Those unique connections are really rare from my experience. I’ve felt it only a handful of times in my own life and it has only occurred when I’ve met someone that, at least seemingly, fit everything that I was looking for in someone physically and internal traits/talents wise. You’re still young – it will happen, just keep getting out there and you too can get kicked in the teeth like the rest of us who make ourselves truly emotionally vulnerable to another human being.
I don’t understand the negative comments in this thread. It’s perfectly normal to not feel anxious, in fact it shows you don’t have social anxiety. It’s also makes sense to not feel excitement about meeting a stranger that you just beginning to get to know. Also, you are busy so your mind is preoccupied and you are not overthinking things and letting things happen naturally. It’s not a bad thing.
Sure, you might be going through depression it other issues that might be effecting your motions but it doesn’t have to be the case unless there are other signs of these issues as well.
Have you tried women? No seriously