please bear with me as there is a lot of pieces to my story…

I (17f) am going into my first year of college and recently have slowly lost all of my friends. I had quite a few friends during high school because of theatre and cheer, but it seems that as those activities and school have ended that those friendships were only for those activities or only school friends. I’ve seen groups of my friends hanging out without me and I never received an invite. I work at the movies and while i’m working i constantly see friends watching movies without me.

I even have a “best friend” who i’m unsure if we are even best friends anymore. We used to hang out all the time, but now almost everytime i ask she can’t or she’s “busy”. One day I texted her asking to hang out and she said she was going to be busy hanging out with her grandma all day so we couldn’t.. i went to the gym soon after and to my surprise she showed up too. She also started telling me things that had happened a few days before (like big things in her life) and telling me that she told other people that we barely started hanging out with instead of me. We run a business together however we’re going to college in different places so I think that will be ending very soon as well.

Here’s the “problem” however… i have a great loving boyfriend who i enjoy spending lots of time with. recently a friend from school asked me to hang out and i agreed to make plans which makes me feel like an asshole because it turns out.. i don’t really want to hang out with anyone besides my boyfriend.. I get sad because i don’t have a friend group of my own and i get jealous of my boyfriend because he does. He always assures me i will make new friends in college or elsewhere but it’s so hard to make new friends for me.

I do want friends but almost everyone that is an option i’ve held a grudge against for treating me poorly or being bad people so i don’t allowed myself to be around those people. I have tried getting online friends but those don’t give me much joy because it’s just texting for the most part…i like real life friends who i can go place and hang out with.

I’ve seen to just fallen into keeping my boyfriend at my side and riding through everything with him..i know he shouldn’t be my only friend but idk what to do anymore.

Does anyone have any advice for me? thanks for reading if you did💜

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