We’ve known each other since mid-January and are not in a relationship. They said it’s fine but that their feelings may turn serious with time.
I’m usually in a city (UK) for uni, but came home today for a family thing and told them as much. They then insisted I was bullshitting them and that I wasn’t really home because they felt it wasn’t the truth, and to prove it by sharing my iPhone location with them. I was weirded out and called them out on it. They were apologetic and recognised that even if we were together, they shouldn’t demand to know where I am, with who etc. But they did.
My friends are telling me to run away because it’s how abusive relationships (of any kind) start, but this is extremely uncharacteristic of them, plus they saw they were wrong. Also, I have problems setting boundaries and cutting off toxic people.
What should I do? If I do need to cut them off, how do I do it? I’ve never even dumped anyone, I was always the one that got broken up with..
3 comments
Yep, controlling and abusive. Just drop this one.
You tell them you don’t want to see them anymore. That’s it. If you want to give them a reason, you can just tell them that this isn’t working for you. But you don’t owe them a reason. Not even as vague as that. You could tell them that you didn’t appreciate being called a liar…but that may be more conversation than they deserve.
Keep it short, keep it direct, and get it over. Don’t stick around to listen to them bargain or threaten or plead or whatever. Stick to your guns, and mean it. It’s over and you don’t want them to contact you anymore. Then block them.
Don’t give this one an inch.
Literally just leave. You have nothing tying them to you. Tell them you’re just not in the headspace and want to focus on your studies and self growth, that you wish them the best.
It’s okay to break up even if they know they’re wrong and are saying they’re sorry. That doesn’t make them a nice person who trusts you.
Imagine how nice it would be to have a partner who says something like, “wonderful! Enjoy your family! Let me know when you’re back so I can cook you dinner and hear about it!”