When is the right time to get married?

5 comments

1. Never a right or wrong time. Marriage is a commitment, not a promise to never change and grow into more. I married young at 23, when I was willing to take the risk and still happily married over 24 years. We all have different fight/flight thresholds so it depends on the individual, for it takes two to make work but only one to fuck it all up.

2. I married at that age and within 10 years he started a relationship with a teen girl from work; he moved out and got an apartment with her. I don’t recommend marrying before 30 but maybe 25 if you’re from a religiously conservative background.

   Curious what is the rush? Sex or moving in together or starting a family or … ?

3. When you feel ready.

   I was with my partner from 15 years old. We got married on our 10 year anniversary. We waited a very long time because we just wanted to feel like adults getting married, we wanted to wait until we kind knew what we were doing as adults, I wanted to graduate college first and start my career a bit.

   Our mindset was “why rush when you’re talking about forever?” We still lived together and even joined our finances, we bought a car together and had cats together. Not much actually changed when we got married… But it does feel a little special and magical to finally call him my husband 😍 but I wouldn’t change anything, I wouldn’t do it sooner if I had a second go around.

4. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong age to get married.

   If you both have a good head on your shoulders, and you are mentally and emotionally prepared to fight for this marriage, then you are ready.

   Just take it seriously and make sure to develop good communication skills.

   Tackle problems together, rather than feeling like it’s one person versus the other. Be open about everything, without attacking or feeling defensive.

   When you have good communication skills, and you’re able to solve problems together, then you are ready.

   If one person brings up an issue, and the other feels defensive and does not help problem solve the issue with the other partner, then the relationship is doomed to fail.

5. A few things that most consider important where I grew up:

   – having finished your degree/apprenticeship and having worked for a few years

   – being completely financially independent

   – having lived on your own for a while, and having lived with your partner 1+ year

   – having worked through some obstacles together

   – being able to sit down together, talk about what marriage means in the legal sense where you live, prenups/postnups, last names, kids….and worst case scenarios

   – usually being 25+, given that people change a lot in their early to mid 20s, and a lot of couples that started dating as teenagers are no longer together when they reach their 30s.