Even if it’s a small get together or something minor. I have to get very drunk beforehand just to be able to make conversation and not have crippling anxiety. This slowly became a bad habit. Now i need it before i do anything social. To be able to hold conversations with people and be outgoing. I even drink before job interviews. Ive been drinking consistently since I was 15. Im not an alcoholic by any means. If i don’t do anything social for weeks i won’t even think about drinking. I’ve went months without a sip during some long depressing winter months. But the second i have plans or a social event. I have to be drunk before i even walk in… I feel like the effects of using alcohol as an anxiety crutch for so long have made me lose my personality and skyrocketed my anxiety (while sober) … If i don’t before a situation. I am extremely quiet anxious have 0 confidence. I didn’t used to be like that. Used to be talkative and social and more confident while sober. Now to get to that state I need alcohol. & Im talking 3-4 shots. Also the anxiety the days after drinking is so vicious lately it has made me want to stop drinking. Or cut back on it heavily. Any advice is helpful.
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You definitely have an alcohol dependency (Using it to be able to reach a preferred/desired state for socialising). Drinking to socialise will only make you more anxious in the long run since you’ll get less and less accustomed to socialising while sober, and make it harder to let go of the alcohol itself. The only piece of advice I guess is to confront your anxieties
I had a drinking problem for years, and would almost always drink before social events. Bad life decisions and their consequences made me get help. My advise is to ditch the alcohol today, before it’s too late.
Once you start exposing yourself to your real problem, it will begin to melt away like you’d never believe. Alcohol is just another problem used to balance you right now, but you can’t see how fast it’s building weight in your life until it brings you off balance all by itself.
It took me 3/4 years to be willing to have a drink again, but even now, I have a 4 drink limit and I rarely hit that limit. Usually just 1 or 2 on a weekend night.
r/stopdrinking
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You don’t have to drink every single day to have a problem with alcohol. Once you become dependent on it for something, that itself is a problem. You need to figure out a way to treat your social anxiety to its core and this isn’t going to be a quick easy fix. You should stop drinking altogether and put it the effort to work on yourself.
Good luck!
Relatable, I love drinking and socialising! It’s so much easier, until I cross my limit and get to the vomiting stage. I’ve quit drinking on my own because it’s just too sad, I do see the habit returning soon. Perhaps I’ll start looking into other drugs instead. Only tip I can give you is to force yourself to go out sober and slowly build up while you’re at the social occasion. Best would probably be to quit drinking ofcourse!
How many social events do you goto a week? Goto more social events in safe environments.
Why? It will make you think less about the anxiety and drinking. Maybe there is a morning gardening club or morning political debate, then there is a lunch time book reading, finally in the evening a movie showing or lecture. Keep going to more and more and try not drinking at them. I’ve been to plenty events sober and really wanted to leave.
Drink and smoking can make us more anxious.
There is probably some aspect of yourself or society that you find repulsive in showing/learning to other people so you drink in order to not having acknowledge that reality.
You have an alcohol problem. You don’t need to drink heavily every day to have a problem; just any sort of dependency on booze, which you clearly do have. Get yourself some help. Also see a doctor and/or therapist about the anxiety; maybe they can help.
Try some weed bro 🤣
Alcoholic can be many different things. I struggle to a certain degree to also want a buzz going into social gatherings
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Man, benzo time?
At first, it was a “personality” drink that turned into an addiction. I have the same issue, I don’t consider drinking unless * specific * people are going to be around. Not because they drink, but because they trigger me. Big events trigger me.
What I’ve practiced doing is having a N/A drink on me at all times in those situations. I have my mega water bottle so my hands are occupied. I pace myself with the 1:1 drink to water rule, and if I start to bug out, I leave. No one notices. And if they do, I tell them I had the shits. No one questions that or takes it personally.
Look up the hamm method of curbing your drinking and see if that’s immersing to you. I haven’t tried it myself, but know a lot of people who liked that route.
I’ve been in a similar boat but I never drank before social events. I always considered one beer or something to loosen me up. That said it’s undeniable how alcohol helps me be more social and confident and I wish I was always like that naturally. But I won’t abuse alcohol just for that and don’t recommend doing so
Try microdosing. It will both rewire your brain from the pathways your drinking has created, and help strengthen your social mobility. Do your prep and research beforehand…it is an amazing experience everyone should try once unless you have a disposition towards schizophrenia
I was the exact same way. I quit drinking and sought professional help for my anxiety. It’s night and day difference now. It took a lot of time and work but it’s worth it. You will not overcome this *with* alcohol. You’ll only make it worse.
I love who I am when I’m drinking, that’s why I can’t drink much anymore
I don’t drink so I don’t know how they compare, but I usually take L-theanine before social activities. It is the chemical in green tea that makes the tea relax you and help you focus, and at least for me, it gives me a nice tranquil* feeling.
*Possibly much milder than people would get from other substances, though. Again, I have no basis for comparison. Still, maybe better than nothing if you decide to quit the alcohol.
I think the problem here is that you have to get “very drunk* cant you have a drink or 2 just to get a buzz? Why do you have to be drunk?
“Not an alcoholic by any means”
Whelp… Either still in denial, or going to be an alcoholic very soon.
I also used to do this. It quickly turned into alcohol abuse/borderline alcoholism.
Be careful!
Alcohol makes you feel less anxious, more confident, more enthusiastic.
But as soon as you get sober, you are back at the start and still feeling like the same loser, probably even more when you meet those same people again and being unable to show that same energy/enthusiasm etc.
It’s best to not rely on alcohol like this. I’ve learned from experience from using alcohol as a crutch. It got so bad I started drinking at school and other social occasions just to feel somewhat normal. Made my social anxiety even worse than it was.
There are meds for anxiety that you can just take as needed.
I am a recovering alcoholic, and a huge part of how my addiction started was because of social anxiety and generalized anxiety. It started the same way with me and ended with seizures, hospitalizations, lots of lost relationships and detox. What I can tell you as someone who has been in your shoes is this: quit while you’re ahead. You don’t want to end up going through any of that.
Its rough and I spent quite a bit of time not going out because of it. I threw up the first time I went out after quitting drinking. I had a panic attack. But it gets better.
Therapy, meditation, exercise, new & engaging hobbies and possibly medications (ssris NOT benzos) are all things I would recommend.
For the record I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic and that you need to never drink again, but it’s better to quit for a while now than to get to the point where you need to quit forever later. Finding different coping mechanisms is essential. Self medicating with alcohol is extremely unhealthy.
Hope this helps. Hope you get through it.
I used to do that. Therapy helps. You have to identify what makes you anxious and embrace it. It’s not easy, but once you understand it and work on it you will get better. Sometimes we have high expectations about ourselves when it comes to socializing. Sometimes there is something about ourselves that we don’t like. I don’t know what your case is but talk about it to a friend. I really suggest you to look for professional help 🙂
The problem is that you’re self-medicating with alcohol, when you should really be talking to a psychiatrist about being prescribed medication for your anxiety and referred to a therapist. It’s not normal to use alcohol for every social interaction.
I think my dad used to do the same when he was younger, well not exactly but he was more social when he drank so he kept doing that, and I think that have become a problem. Eventually he drank every weekend and when had to retire he drank every day. It was the worst for us.
So although I have social anxiety I try not to drink or drink as little as possible.
Also I heard recently that if you do X to relieve or lower your anxiety you would not be able to overcome your anxiety without that. So try to do baby steps to overcome or manage better your anxiety.
For example talk to a person in the supermarket and try to make conversation.
Ps: Sorry if I wasn’t clear, English is not my first language
ur an alcoholic. start there.
Find hobbies that surround yourself with people and don’t include drinking. Go to the mall a lot and try talking to everyone. Just get used to being around and talking to people constantly.
Maybe try acid or DMT lol. Do research and be smart but can help you change habits you’re stuck in
I liked going to the bar a little earlier than most people get dinner and drink slowly. Then when people would get there I’d already feel comfortable from the vibe of being there
i used to do this but at some point it’s just not fun not being mentally there. you could try cbd for anxiety i use a bit here and there, i need to be more consistent. but i know people who used to have terrible panic attacks that stopped after using cbd.
I think you should hype yourself up with some hype music like bad bunny or some shit before being social. Like having the music loud to change your baseline mood from low to higher without alcohol.
Cuz alcohol don’t always work like that either it’s more complicated than that.
the goal is to elevate your mood so you’ll be more relaxed and ready to chat and be social.
Cbd and ashwaganda can help with anxiety.
One time intook too much ashwaganda and i was TOOOOOO chill for my own good haha
Get yourself hyped man
There should be a dating scene for our types, specifically. Ahh, we’d just end up drinking, fuck it lol
Have you tried beta blockers instead?
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I was in the same position bro. You drink to socialize because you feel anxiety. I hear confusion in what you’re writing that says “why am I like this?” You know you use alcohol just to be social. For me I used it just to socialize too but eventually for me it grew into addiction which is something different.
When I discovered alcohol I found that I broke out of being the quietest kid in the room. I was an extrovert turned introvert (caused from bullying and other trauma). I enjoyed conversations and didn’t care about the slightest thing of what people thought about me. I knew I had a problem when it made me feel so bad afterwards after awhile. I have major depression too and it made it way worse. My case was I used daily to not have anxiety or depression. After I got duis and in trouble with the law I started to change. I told myself I’m not going to rely on alcohol anymore. I noticed that my trauma and bullying from the past made me socially anxious. I cared what people thought of me. I wore clothes, did things I normally didn’t do because of trying to fit in. It wasn’t me. I had to rediscover my self. I’m 7.5 years sober today. I still have anxiety and I still am quite but I’m getting better at socializing. It takes practice. I’m going to a therapist soon to get help with it. I learned that I have to be careful with any drug that helps with anxiety. It can crossover to all parts of my life if I im not careful.
Hey there, Kevin, the master of ceremonies! It sounds like you’ve turned social events into an Olympic drinking competition. Maybe it’s time to swap the shots for some shot-put, you know? But seriously, relying on alcohol to be social isn’t sustainable. How about trying some ways to boost your confidence naturally?
Hey there, Kevin here, the comedic guru. Sounds like you’ve turned social events into booze fests! How about we replace the shots with jello shots? You’ll have a blast and people will wonder how you manage to stay so wobbly on your feet! Cheers!
Well, Kevin, it seems like you’ve turned socializing into a drinking game! Maybe now it’s time to play a different game and find new ways to boost your confidence. How about a round of Let’s Embrace Sobriety and Smash Anxiety? You got this!
Hey Kevin, it sounds like you’ve turned anxiety into a drinking game! But seriously, using alcohol as a crutch can be a slippery slope. Have you considered finding healthier coping mechanisms?