Long story short: dad passed away a few years ago, when I was 30 years old. He left me quite a bit of money, but also an absolute ton of responsibility.
Dads life-long best friend, who I had only ever met twice in my life, has been helping me through everything. This man is a freaking saint. He’s retired, has a nice house, happy family… And spends most of his time helping friends and family.
All I can ever do is thank him and offer to pay for his time , or gasoline, or any expenses …. And half the time he won’t even let me do that!
He never asks for anything, and seems to have everything.
I took him out to lunch a couple months ago, that was about the only thing I’ve been able to come up with… 2 years ago I had a painting of him + my dad made. He really liked that. But I feel like it’s time I show my appreciation again in some form
Ideas??
5 comments
I’m sorry for your loss.
The best thing you can do is just show him that you appreciate all he has done.
I think, from his perspective, helping you is its own reward. When he says he doesn’t want anything in return, he is being serious.
If it were me, I wouldn’t want any expensive gifts or dinner or money for expenses. I’d just want you to come round my house, bring a 6-pack of beer, and just spend time with me, reminiscing, and showing me that you are happy(ish) and managing in your life.
Exactly what u/SamuraiGoblin said. He just wants to see you happy and functioning, thats enough.
Find some pictures of your dad and him, or maybe even all three of you (friend, dad, you). Get a nice couple of copies made and frame them. Give one to him. Hang another copy in your house/home as well.
If you don’t have pics, ask other friends of your dad’s or his friend if they have pics.
If there’s no pic, take one of you and him. Dupe and gift/hang.
Tell him you feel like he’s family. Myself I’d hug him and tell him I love him.
My mom is kind of like this, she has worked for 3 years doing my Admin for my business, whilst not all day just odd tasks here and there and then some really hard work around the time I have to do my tax returns and she will take nothing off me, she is in her 70s and does things instantly when I ask via text or phone call and I can just forget about it and concentrate on bringing the money in, she has access to my funds and I’ve told her help yourself, whatever you feel you deserve for the work take (which Is invaluable to me as I have ADHD).
But she won’t, so for the last 3 years I’ve just rocked up with a Holiday for her once with her sister…my auntie (who i consulted first and was happy to go on a free holiday) and twice with her partner, she has just gone yesterday evening for this year, she has a little dog now so she prefers to stay on home soil, so I got her a little cottage on the south coast for the week where she can take her little dog, all booked not asked if she wants to go (best to still get something refundable though) but I have poked and prodded for places she would like to go, and as she is getting older she wants to go to places she went on holiday as a kid, to take a trip down memory lane she has been allover the world and isn’t that interested in flying anywhere anymore, if I offered she would never ever accept but it’s hard not to when someone hands you some tickets with your name on them..
The best way is to figure out what might really mean something to him, and do that.
If you figure that out, he will know that you appreciate him.
I had a friend like that, who needed nothing, but he appreciated my time, going to lunch, and me meeting up with him and his family when we were both traveling. He’s gone now, and the best thing we spent together was time.