Im 19 years old and it’s been years since I invited friends to my house the last time I did was probably when I was 12. My house is pretty small and messy. We have many animals and they often make a mess. Also my house is cluttered with books, plants, toys, boxes, etc. Also we are five to live there and my dad works from home from the living room so it can get overcrowded fast. When I go to my friends houses they pretty much all have nice houses uncluttered and big. Idk if it makes sense but i feel complexed by my house. I would like to invite friends over but I’m scared that they will judge how I live. Also my family is always there so I never have the house to myself. Is it reasonable that I don’t feel like I could invite people over or it’s just in my head?
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6 comments
Admittedly I haven’t been 19 for… a while. But I remember going to my different friends houses. If your family’s nice I wouldn’t care about the mess or crowded situation 🙂 I’ve been in big clean houses but didn’t like it because the people were rude or uninviting.
Your friends aren’t coming over to judge your house. They just want to eat your snacks or moms cooking and play video games or whatever it is kids get up to these days. With you, their friend!
A small and crowded house that is relatively clean probably wouldn’t matter much to most people. But this part needs a little more explanation.
>We have many animals and they often make a mess.
What does “many animals” mean? And do you mean that the animals are peeing and pooping in the house? If so, does it get cleaned up immediately? Or does it sit?
Would these be the same friends coming to the same house as from years ago?
Feeling like you could not invite them – unreasonable.
Not wanting to invite them – reasonable. To some people their home is their safe space and thus outsiders are not welcome.
No it is not unreasonable. What is unreasonable is that your family has not felt it necessary to make their home comfortable for others including yourself. I’m sorry I don’t have a solution for you. But I can recommend checking out Baha’i.org
For some great ideas and answers. 🙏🌹
I experience the same feelings, I don’t want to be judged for the way my house is because it’s the way my family has made it. It would be different if my house was configured the way I personally wanted it.
So I understand how you feel about being hesitant to invite people over. I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong, unless you are expecting other people to host all the time and you don’t do anything to help or thank them for having you. But that doesn’t seem like the case