In your experience, what positive/healthy/promising aspects should feel present within six months of a relationship?

5 comments

1. As someone that was recently broken up with at that mark.

   Love and a feeling of security, is perhaps not enough. Open communication, a willingness to fight for your relationship, and most of all doing everything to avoid situations where it’s necessary to fight for it.

   Unrelenting proof of trust and love.

2. I’d say the three biggest things:

   -Open, honest, and effective communication. 6 months in, you should have a pretty good idea of how to communicate with your partner, resolve conflict, be able to openly and freely speak to your wants and needs, and not be afraid to have hard discussions or bring up topics of long term important value to you. If you don’t have this by then, or they seem to be a poor communicator, it’s highly unlikely this well ever really improve (or get worse) in my experience.

   -100% Trust. If you can’t trust them fully by this point theres a reason. Even if it takes time for you to start trusting people, like me, I’ve still got an idea as to whether I can trust someone or not.

   -Comfortability. Maybe this is more of a “me” thing, but of the relationships that have all his the 6 month mark, all ended up being long term relationship (or engagements). If I’m not at a point where I feel comfortable with them and see them as a long-term relationship, there’s something wrong. I don’t have to be head over heels in love but I should have a very strong bond with them that I value and don’t want to lose.

3. Agree with comments above.
   Communication is #1. You can be the best communicator, patient, empathetic, able to express yourself well and approach problems with a team mindset. If your partner is not a good communicator or does not communicate the relationship will fail. One person can’t paddle the boat for both. Both partners have to communicate. Found out after BU my ex complained to his friends about me. Never once did he bring up those problems to the first and only person he should have, his partner. Even during the breakup these complaints were never voiced to me.

   Respect. Butterflies fade. That in love feeling is not forever. Better be sure at the end of the day you both respect each other, the relationship and each persons boundaries. Respect for their partner is what makes a person turn down and set boundaries with a coworker who expresses interest/flirts. Respect is what keeps both partners disagreeing in a healthy way. No name calling, putting each other down. Respect is what causes a partner to include the other in a big life decision.

   Friendship. You should enjoy spending time together doing the mundane boring things. Grocery shopping, sitting in traffic, waiting in line, Wednesday night dinner at home. This is 90% of relationships and life. The boring mundane things. Be sure to have a partner by your side that makes you laugh through it.

4. I would say understanding. You can communicate all you want but if your partner is living to misunderstand you, there’s no point.

5. I think the key early indicator is compatibility. You should have figured out by 6 months in whether you vibe together, whether you share the same outlook on life, whether you feel there’s potential for a future together. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with a person, they’re just not the person for you. Which is why I think all the other things are moot, they could be the most emotionally mature, communicative, respectful person but that doesn’t mean you work together as a couple.