Need some advice please.
I’ve (28M) been with my GF (29F) for 7 years but I’m no longer in love with her and am not attracted to her anymore.
I do still love her and care about her but I’m not “in” love with her anymore. More as a friend/companion I guess.
She hasn’t done anything wrong, she’s just changed a lot as a person since we’ve been together (as have I) and I just don’t see myself wanting to marry/have kids with her in the future despite her often hinting at marriage. I guess I feel like an asshole for breaking up without an apparent reason.
We own a house together so it’s not as simple as just breaking up and going our separate ways.
I’m in a better position than her financially and contribute the most to our cost of living. How do I tell her I no longer want to be with her without shattering her life as she knows it?
Basically, I no longer want to be with her but I still care about her so don’t want to put her through a breakup.
I know I have to break up as it’s not fair to me or to her to keep going when I’m no longer invested. But how do I do it? It doesn’t seem right to just randomly tell her i want to break up after dinner one day.
TLDR: Don’t want to be with my long-term GF anymore but don’t want to be an asshole for breaking up out of the blue.
2 comments
You gotta start by talking to her, maybe she has similar feelings. It will be extremely difficult no matter what. But if she feels the same perhaps try being roommates until she can get her own place or you can sell the house and split it so you both can have a fresh start
You won’t be an asshole for breakign up with her, that’s honest. You’ll be an asshole if you keep pretending you love her, keep sleeping with her and keep making her thing there is nothing wrong because you’re too cowardly to have the break up talk.
Breaking up sucks, being lied to and held back from the rest of your life is worse, much, much worse.