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You don’t need to be okay with exploring your wife’s kinks or fantasies. It’s great that she feels comfortable to come to you and be open and honest.
And in turn you can be open and honest and let her know that it’s a no for you and that you feel it’s disrespectful to your marriage.
Even if you later may be open to the idea and change your mind right now you don’t.
You wouldn’t be a failure to your kids so don’t think for one moment you need to or have to explore your wife’s kink
Just because something is called a “kink” doesn’t mean it has to be green lit.
You have every right to say absolutely not.
So you do want a threesome but you dont think its something married people should do or you dont want a threesome at all?
If you’re not happy with doing something, don’t end of.
If you say “no”, the concern is that she’ll go and do it anyway without you – may be something to keep an eye out for.