OP: [Post( Removed)](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/14qipav/my_bestfriend20f_confessed_she_likes_me22m_whilst/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) Reposting for who missed it
For context, l’ve been friends with my bestfriend for about 3 years. She was dating my male bestfriend and they had a pretty bad breakup but I was there to help her through it and we grew really close. We talk every single day and she’s a big part of my life. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and I’m deeply in love with her. they haven’t met each other yet but obviously know of each other. So one night, me and my girlfriend were in bed together watching a movie and my best friend cals. I put it on speaker as there’s nothing to hide and she randomly just starts talking about how she has feelings for me. At this point, I’m sweating and shocked but I can’t take it off speaker cause then I’m sus. After the call, my girlfriend was upset and is now pressuring me to stop talking to my bestfriend. I care deeply for my bestfriend but my girlfriend feelings need to be taken into account. What should I do? Should i take them both out to have dinner and talk about it or is this a bad idea?
Tl;dr: My bestfriend confessed she likes me and my girlfriend heard everything. She wants me to stop talking to my bestfriend and now I don’t know what to do.
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UPDATE part one: I will speak with my best-friend and indicate the obvious which is from a romantic standpoint, I am unavailable. I will also speak about her feelings, how long she’s felt that way etc, to get a clear understanding of what could of possibly changed the dynamics as this came out of no where to me. Then as the conversation goes, I’ll suggest we take a step back momentarily. I will not be allowing them to speak to each other, which means no dinner/civil conversation about it with all 3 parties
The consensus among most, is that the best solution is to completely cut contact. While I do partially agree, I have to take into context, it’s a long friendship and is one mistake/confession with result of me cutting you off, too harsh
I will give another update when this is done
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OUTCOME: I left off basically saying I would talk to my bestfriend, ask how long she felt this way, tell her I’m unavailable and that’d I’d like to take a step back.
What did I Do?
Firstly I spoke with my girlfriend and she’s very adamant, she’s not comfortable over this situation and she also said she always suspected that this girl had some type of feelings.
I talked to my bestfriend and indicated what she did was disrespectful, I told her I don’t reciprocate the feelings and I need to step away and focus on my girlfriend and make sure she is comfortable with everything. In short, she liked me for a while and felt
“jealous” that our friendship over the months was deteriorating due to my relationship. She felt she needed to tell me and be open and honest with me to properly move forward.
She apologized, however she’s upset that I am choosing this route. It’s too early to say but most likely this is the end of my friendship. The reason I say most likely, is my conversation was that “I’d step back to focus on my relationship ” rather than “I’d never speak with you again. am well aware, there Is no way back for the friendship but I don’t want to be an A-Hole about it.
Overall, this is the right decision. I came in trying to figure out if I could make it work and have my platonic friend and my girlfriend. But to whoever finds themself in this situation. It won’t work. You have to choose one and in this situation. I am choosing my girlfriend. Thank you for the advice as 95% of you people knew this was the only way.
TL;DR – my bestfriend confessed she liked me infront of my girlfriend, I came for advice in my first post and ultimately made a decision and had to get rid of my bestfriend and stick by my girlfriend
6 comments
Unfortunately this is the only possible outcome. There must be a choice. Good for you for choosing your gf over your best friend who crossed obvious boundaries. If it were the other way round, you would also want your gf to choose you. I wish you both much happiness.
your gf shouldn’t be put in a position to be asking you to cut off contact with your bestf lol
You did the right thing, though I’m sorry for the loss of your friendship. Making this choice really supports the foundation of your relationship with your GF and I wish you the very best together going forward.
What an asshole friend she is. If she cared about you and your friendship she wouldn’t put you in a position like that. And hearing about how your gf always knew..GIRLS DO KNOW THESE THINGS
I would say that’s probably the best choice you made. Had this been a stranger who was unaware you had a girlfriend it would be a completely different story. She disrespected your relationship (and your girlfriend) by telling you her feelings, I would extend this by saying that she probably thought you liked her too since you helped her through a bad time even though she was dating your male best friend.
For those who are saying (or might be thinking) that he shouldn’t have chosen relationship over friendship, OP really dodged a bullet. This friend confessed even though she knew he was in a relationship, and then gets upset when OP is saying they need to take a step back rather than cut her out entirely- she was obviously expecting something lol. Prime example of a someone mistaking kindness for something else.
Good for you! I’m glad you did the right thing!