I am 31 male and I would say I’ve been watching porn since I was 12. I think I do pretty good at separating porn and the unrealisticness with my sex life with my wife (32) I am attracted to her and have a big sex drive toward her. She knows I look at it but probably not how much I actually consume. I am just tired of it. She is out of town with the kids and I’ve got nothing done because I’ve just been cranking it out and I feel like my content I consume is getting more unhealthy because I’m just bored of it and looking for new things. I want to quit. I have deleted my stash of porn on my phone. I’ve tried before but always get sucked back in. I think it would be really hot to make our own videos for just me and the wife and when I’m aroused at time likes these when she’s gone I can just watch those and feel a little better about kyself. She is not super out going and a little shy so I’m not sure she would go for it. Is this a reasonable thing to ask? It would be very vulnerable for me to admit all this to her. Also any other ideas to help quit?
11 comments
I know it can absolutely be different for different men, but for my husband pictures are fine, videos are triggering (at least at this point). He felt horribly guilty because he felt he was objectify me in the same way as porn and he didn’t want to do that.
Kinda hard to answer this without really knowing your wife. Personally I would love if my partner only used our videos for masturbation and didn’t view porn. I don’t care that he does and I know that he does (I do too). It would just be hot to know he only wanted to use me/us (we have made several videos but I know he still uses porn). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask but I know some women are a bit touchy about these things. Without knowing your wife not sure how she would react. I would say test the waters and see what she says.
Both me and my boyfriend had a huge porn addiction but videos/pics of each other helped us both a lot. You can discuss with her and see if she’d be open to trying it. We are both shy so we both only do faceless
I’m not sure how to navigate pron addition, this sub may assist r/PornAddiction with some other suggestions.
In regards to porn with your wife – that sounds like fun. Perhaps start by just taking some photo’s and going from there.
Does your wife know you’ve deleted all your stash and giving it up? Perhaps if she knows about what you’re trying to do you may not feel so vulnerable?
I think this is a great idea. U still love her and rather watch her than another woman. Honestly porn is boring but watching videos of your wife touching herself and y’all as a couple isn’t.
I would absolutely be down for this if my husband proposed the idea to me. I have no problem with him jerking it to whatever porn, but it would turn me on to know that he’s getting off on our sexcapades 😍 and props to you for wanting to change!!
Disable incognito mode on all your computer and add blocker to your phone (bulldog blocker) and tablets
Add porn blocker on your laptop as well and put google safety mode on
We haven’t faced any addictions or dependencies, but we’ve made enough content both together and individually for each other that neither of us have any interest in porn anymore. It’s a lot of fun for me, and I’m a pretty reserved person outside the bedroom
My wife and I make videos often. And with our 3rd (female).
I enjoy watching them more than “professional” porn.
Best way would be to ask her.
Make a commitment to tell her when you’re watching.
It’ll feel weird but, trust me, letting another person in on your secret habit will be a good reality check as well as help connect you with your partner
It may seem like a fix but it just doesn’t seem sustainable, how many times will you view your 1 video together (if she even agrees) til you no longer get the dopamine from it and you either need more and more videos constantly or her doing more hardcore things
You will be far better retraining your brain to not get off to solely visual stimuli and give a chance for your dopamine to recalibrate. It will surely be better in the long run!