I’ve definitely improved a LOT over the years. I’m not as socially anxious and can hold a conversation pretty well. Even though I think I’ve come so far, I still am the quiet kid everywhere I go. My main issue, I guess, is that I don’t initiate conversation much, I only follow. So if the other person decides they’re not going to initiate either, then it’s going to be a real silent hour.
I just assume that if someone doesn’t talk to me first then they don’t want to talk. But are they waiting for me to talk? I see other people, complete strangers, just start up a conversation so casually and I wonder how in the world they do it. It’s not even like, one initiates and the other follow, it’s SO casual and second nature that they just both kinda jump in.
I try to be confident and firm (eye contact, good posture, loud voice) but something about my demeanour still gives away quiet and shy, according to everyone I meet. Any tips for how to fix this?
2 comments
I often feel VERY awkward but I’ve become pretty great at talking to strangers. For me, I’ve learned that’s it’s going to feel more uncomfortable the more I wait, so I just jump in with “how ya doing today”, or “this is some kind of weather” something generic that the other person came respond to with more or less information depending on how they feel.
The trick is that first moment of PRETENDING to be comfortable. By doing that, you will become comfortable (at least a little more so).
I’ve moved internationally multiple times and had to meet people in many stages of life. With the exception of openly angry or violent people, this tends to work very well.
Hope that helps. Best of luck.
And remember, an awkward conversation is a very small price to pay for personal growth. It’s like, totally free 🙂
Stop assuming. Let them say it when they don’t want to talk to you.