I (f teen) noticed that i haven’t orgasmed once in my life i thought that maybe it is since i started masturbating a bit later than most people would but now i’m not to sure. People always say that when it comes to masturbating one shouldn’t be in their head i’m scared of performing wrong in the bedroom with my partner and he so noticed that i don’t really orgasm either. Not to get this wrong i completely enjoy the process of masturbating but when it comes to cumming i just don’t i feel there’s smth wrong with me idk just scary. I would prefer to talk to a family member about this sort of thing but masturbating is kinda like looked down upon or seen as something dirty in my family.
6 comments
Masturbate alone, don’t try to cum but just focus on your sensations and the pleasure, and do what your body tells you
I’ve had many partners who had difficulty or even found it impossible. Communicate honestly about it with your partners, assure them it’s not them, just the way you’re wired. The sex can still be very intimate and intense with a tight emotional connection.
As you mature you might find some tricks to set yourself off, and share that with them as appropriate.
But don’t worry: anxiety isn’t any use, and you should only sleep with people who are as comfortable with you as you deserve.
First off, you are so not alone! There are plenty of people who are much much much older and haven’t had orgasms. Also, I guarantee your partner is also worried about performing badly. Even when you do have sex it can take partners quite some time to figure out what works and doesn’t. I’d start by being a little gentler on yourself. I think the best way to learn what works for you is you exploring yourself. Focus on the sensations and place you find bring you pleasure. Also it can take women. I think the average is like 20mins (don’t quite me on it) and that’s after being highly aroused already. You probably know this, but just in case most women don’t come from penetration alone. Usually, most need clitorial stimulation in order to reach orgasm or a combination of both. You could also try using a vibrator.
This might sound weird, but YouTube has a lot of videos that can teach you a lot, no matter how old someone is. There is also a show on Netflix The Principles of Pleasure it’s pretty informative.
There is nothing wrong with you. I didn’t have an orgasm with a partner until about 2 years after I first started having sex. You have negative thoughts associated with masturbation so that’s no surprise you can’t get there , it will take time to change your attitude towards self pleasure, that’s perfectly normal. You should check out r/becomingorgasmic
I had my first orgasm at 20 when I was just relaxed with someone and toying around with no motive other than playing. And after that is was pretty easy. You’ll be fine, relax and enjoy the pleasure
You dont have to orgasm in the bedroom, just enjoy it and relax, otherwise youll stress about it and itll never happen. One day im sure itll happen, but it wont if youre thinking about it nonstop.