Hi everybody, I am in a delicate situation and would like some advice to help me make a decision. So my boyfriend of 2 years recently told me that he intends to go to a different city with his cousin. They want to spend some time together and there’s a major event happening in that city that they’re interested in. I didn’t have any issue with this, until he mentioned to me that his cousin intends to hangout at their Airbnb with this tinder match he got from a couple months ago. He also mentioned that she might come with some friends. So now, what was supposed to be a “family” trip seems to be turning into a party in an Airbnb with other girls. I don’t know how to approach this situation….I feel like shit to bring up my concerns but at the same time I feel disrespected by this situation and want to respect my boundaries. Am I overthinking this? How can I discuss this with him? Thank you!!
12 comments
I think it’s fair to be concerned. But also if you trusted your boyfriend before the Tinder match, it shouldn’t make a difference.
However, since your cousin is bringing girls, maybe you should be invited too 😂.
I wouldn’t freak out. Talk to your boyfriend. He’s not done anything wrong. Just mention your concern and see what he says.
Lol for a second I thought you meant his cousin WAS the tinder match, I was about to say what is this 😂
Why aren’t you invited? It sounds like they’re having a singles sex party tbh 🙄
He should take you. His cousin is bringing a gir, multiple in fact, why cant he?
I would dump him if he didn’t.
You should talk or ask your boyfriend if you can go with them. It does seems shady for me too. If they’re going to party and get drunk who knows what going to happen next. Your boyfriend might pretend as a single on that vacation. It’s sound like a mixer too, where single people get to meet together and hit it off. If you trust your boyfriend, you should not be scared to talk to him about it. If he pushes you off not come on that vacation, that’s where you knew something’s off.
Personally I feel like it’s disrespectful to your relationship. I would not be cool with it, but everyone is different.
The comments telling you to ask if you can go – I think if he wanted you there he would have invited you. I’m sorry love.
Is his cousin actually *bringing* this girl with him? Or does she live in the area that they are going to?
If she and a few of her friends are going on the trip with them, then I get it, you should go too.
If your BF and his cousin are going alone and, while there, will be meeting up with a girl who his cousin met on tinder, I would say to forget about it. You either trust him or you don’t, and just the fact that’s he’s hanging out with other women doesn’t mean he will cheat.
If your bf’s cousin is bringing a date and this is turning into a group event, then your bf can bring you. If he says no to this then it’s a massive red flag.
You need to let him go an he needs to be available for video call at any time of the day or night. If his phone dies, then its on him. He can decide if he still wants to go. He should have told you the deal when he asked permission. He already misled you which was not the way to earn your trust.
I don’t think you are overthinking this. In that post above, to the idea of inviting yourself, you wrote
“But then he’s only inviting because I asked. And somehow I feel like that’s worse. Like why were you alright with that whole situation to begin with…”
Yes, for sure! That said, I have done things like that before, that I regretted later, once I got wise enough to realize how insensitive I was being. But you are in a tough situation. If you do nothing, it just doesn’t sit right. If you invite yourself, and then he acts weird or miserable while you’re there, you’ll have your answer, but it will be an awkward trip back.
I admit that I can’t come up with an easy solution. But I just want to say that your concern is legitimate.
I thought by the title that is cousin was also his tinder match and was thinking you had bigger problems than the trip
Tell him you’re coming with him. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
There is NO reason your BF should be partying with other girls when he has you. The reason he didn’t ask you to come is because he doesn’t want you ruining his vibe. He wants to pretend he’s single. Next thing you know, he’ll be ‘drunk’ and ‘accidentally’ hooked up with someone, but it won’t mean anything cause he was drunk.