My (18F) friend (18F) has been dating her boyfriend (19M) for a few months now, and I am so bitter about it.
l’ve known my friend, ‘Alice’ since middle school. We didn’t really get caused familiar with each other up until high school though. But after we did— we became really close.
I didn’t have a super active home life after I hit pre-teen age. Both my parents were always working, and my sister and I weren’t close at all. Me and my family NEVER sat down and ate together- except maybe on holidays.
It always left something to be desired for me. There was something missing inside of me, the part that just wanted to experience the purity and joy family can bring.
Alice fulfilled that for me. I truly look at her as an older sister. I love her so much. She not only gave me the love I craved so badly, but by being close to her, connected with her other siblings as well. Going to her house, talking with her and her sister, playing with her younger siblings, felt like my prayers were answered.
Me and her could talk for hours about absolutely nothing, could have rant sessions that quickly turned into tears and comfort. We could make fun of each other and laugh together until we were on the floor rolling. She was like my rock, and I was hers.
Until Alice started dating her boyfriend, ‘Dave’.
Ever since she started dating Dave, our entire dynamic changed. All the plans we made, all of our deep talks, all our hang outs— everything has been invaded by a guy she’s been dating for a few months. I hate it.
We had planned to watch The Little Mermaid 2023 A YEAR before it came out, all together with her younger siblings. When the day came, Alice asked if she could invite her boyfriend last second. I was hesitant, but I said yes. I wouldn’t want to make her sad or make her feel like I have something against him.
When the day came to watch the movie, I was on the very end seat, and they were cuddled together at the other end seats on the opposite side of the row. They were giggling and hugging each other, acting all lovey dovey. It was objectively cute. But it just made me want to get up and leave. I almost did, but decided to stay for her other siblings.
Dave is everything to her now. For the times we do hang out, he’s there. For the deep conversations we have, he’s brought up. There is no ‘us’ anymore— just her and him.
No, I don’t have romantic feelings for Alice. I love her as if she is my blood sister. I don’t have anything against her boyfriend or their relationship, he makes her so happy.
If anything, I resent myself for the bitterness I have towards their relationship. I would rather sew my mouth shut with a needle than confess to her how I feel.
A part of me wonders if she values me as much as I value her— if our friendship was really just a temporary thing for her until she found something more meaningful to her, love.
We used to be like sisters, or at least I thought we were— but now me and her are just friends. Nothing is the same anymore. I just want things to go back to the way they were.
7 comments
Have you talked to her about it?
Unfortunately, that’s how it is when people find a partner. It happens, especially when group of friends go in different direction after college / university because they are trying to establish their own lives with their partner as well as their career.
Your friend has taken a next step in life, and I think you should too when you are ready.
I understand how you feel ma’am, but you gotta understand that there’s not just you in this world. If I were you, I would be happy for Alice! But… I’m not you, so I’m going to give you some tricks to feel better about this situation. First of all, talk with her. Talk with her about how you feel about this situation, she’s like you’re sister I’m sure she’ll understand. Second of all, try to find something you like to do, like drawing or dancing… And pour all your emotions in that something. For me, I always felt like I were a burden to others and that I didn’t serve any purpose in life, but I found boxing! And it saved my life. And lastly, you could just stop thinking about it, I know it’s gonna be hard but just try for a moment. Like I said, find something and you’ll forget a bit of it. (It’s ok if you don’t think about your situation just for a little while) Anyway, I’m so fking bad with words so ima stop here. Hope this helps. Stay strong chief! (Sorry for bad English it’s not my first language)
Jealousy and envy are killers
Let it goooo
It’s fair to feel this way but this is also what happens as we get older and our friends partner up. What you can do though is maybe let her know you would like quality time with just her. Let her know you love her bf, but it would be nice once in a while to do things with just the two of you. She will more than likely understand.
I know that feeling, my bff doesn’t even have a bf and I’m already bitter af when I saw her having fun with a boy 😢 It’s really sad and lonely to watch somebody dear to you finding their partner and slowly growing apart. You should tell her how you feel though, maybe her and Dave are in the honeymoon phase so your friend wouldn’t be aware that she’s letting you feel left behind
Well, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a little case of friendship envy. But hey, don’t worry, I’ve got just the solution! How about we start a dating show just for friends? We’ll call it Platonic Love Island. Problem solved!