What made you finally stop being scared around people?

31 comments

1. Recognizing that my value is intrinsic to me, not assigned to me by others. Essentially, once I started liking myself, I was able to operate with confidence

2. Practice.

3. Realizing that all that truly matters in this world is money. Money will solve all personal and solvable problems in this world

4. The realization that nothing matters but what I think and how I feel. Not needing external validation. Accepting who I am as a person, including being a dumbass. Yet also knowing I’m capable of a lot if I put my mind to it. Knowing that in this world, everyone will eventually die, they might as well live and enjoy what they can. Wasting time on what people think is absolutely redundant.

5. Finding ppl who enjoy the same things I do, who are curious about the same things, who get joy out of the same things.

   Taking classes and getting involved in activities I enjoy or am curious about.

6. I realized that we’re all human and all want the same thing. People need people. Humans are social animals. Instead of fearing and avoiding connection, I realized that the only way I will feel happier is by embracing the world.

   Also, there’s really no point worrying about what other people think. Nobody actually cares about how you look or act. It took me such a long time to really understand that.

   When around people, I now know that:

   1. Most of the people you meet, you will never see again
   2. Most people will forget about you, so whatever you say or do (unless it’s crazy), doesn’t matter
   3. Most people are too busy thinking about their own lives to care about what you say or how you look

   Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted for who they are. Most people are kind and respectful. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you weren’t being yourself, because that’s how you build connections. If someone doesn’t like me, judges me, or makes fun of me for being myself, then that’s their problem. It says more about them than it does me.

   Life is so incredibly short. There’s no time to waste being too afraid to be yourself. Just put your whole self out there and be in the moment.

7. I realized most people’s opinions don’t impact my life at all. Even if they don’t like me, that’s fine. What are they going to do? Talk shit about me? Not be my friend? I’m not trying to be friends with everyone. I barely have time for the people I like, let alone people I don’t. I struggle with liking myself, but I still know what’s true about me and what’s not. If they say I’m ugly, okay. I can still get mine, though. If they think I’m annoying, whatever. There are plenty of people that don’t mind my personality. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, do you. You just have to be self-aware and know what’s true about you. Then other people’s thoughts about you won’t influence your own perception so easily.

8. Worked out first off gave me a lot got more confidence started writing poetry and rapping also, talking to myself throughout the day helps with verbal motor skills. Kept in mind I need to comple my sentences. And not over sharing. Asking people about they’re life. Communication like everything humans do is a skill to be learned

9. Mine was the combo of 2 interactions. I have told them before.

   1. I had a very geeky boyfriend in high school. Not a stretch as I was geeky myself. I tried to camouflage and blend in, he …. did not.

   One day I was in the bathroom with a popular girl. (Head cheerleader, designer clothes the whole stereotype) She asked if I was dating X, I said yes, preparing to be ridiculed for it. She then says she she just loves how he just obviously does what he loves and does not care who is watching.

   I was dumb struck. What?? Sticking out was not embarrassing? The popular girl thought MY boyfriend was incredibly cool???! It was a revelation that most of my embarrassment was in my own head.

   2. A couple years later in college, I am doing a LOT better after internalizing encounter 1 more, but still shy and not ready to let everything totally hang out.

   We had a class where we had to present our final paper in an oral presentation. I was dreading public speaking, but one classmate comes up to do his presentation. He is pale, sweaty and trembling. He looks like he is about to pass out before he can get through his presentation. I try my best to send good vibes to him. Hey, we are all friends here, nothing bad will happen, it is not that long, you can do it. I glanced around and most of my classmates were leaning forward with supportive/concerned looks on their faces.

   At that moment, I realized that with the exception of a few assholes, most people are rooting for you to do a good job in public speaking. I still hate public speaking, but this was the corner to make it not a huge problem for me.

10. Working in a sex shop. We’re all just messy embarassing leaky monkeys with deep seated heaping shame, everyone is terrified of how they’re perceived at all times and yet barely paying attention to anyone else. It’s all such a joke there’s no point overthinking it.

11. Being kind to myself. Self compassion. Confidence is a byproduct of that, not acquired directly

12. The conscious realization that nobody cares.

13. Goddam you people are pathetic, the fact that you have a echo chamber in reddit to enable and justify your mental illness is a psychologists wet dream

14. The realization that everyone is so concerned about themselves they don’t have time to worry about you.

    Also the fact that we are literally on a floating rock. Accepting the fact that nothing truly matters because we are specks in the universe, it sounds sad but honestly the most freeing thing I’ve realized. Be weird, take risks, be yourself — you’ll regret looking back and not having more experiences but chances are you are not gonna remember that one time you said something awkward in a social interaction. “Zoom out” and see the bigger picture, a lot of anxiety comes from being too “zoomed in” all the time.

15. [removed]

16. Realising not that other people don’t think or care about what we do but that it doesn’t really matter – I don’t need approval and external validation and only respect the opinions of a select few people who’s values and views I admire.

    Also that life is short so you ought to smell the flowers until you’re buried with them

17. Realizing nothing is important. Years of bullying made me a cynic, ridicule is ridicule only if you take it that way, but it can be funny, or it can be nothing at all.

    Try to remember the last time someone did something cringe around you, it probably was days or weeks ago, yet those are only the moments you remember, as you forgot 90 of whatever happened the other days.

    Lastly, I have a fixed time to live, and life gave me one body, one sould and one mind, I’ll use them all to the fullest, I wont get scared over little things like talking to a girl, taking that gamble with that truth that needs to be said, exploring that path no one wants to take.

    So hurry up and live your life, not carelessly, but boldly. You have one shot at life, ridicule is temporary, experience is forever.

    (Sorry for the cheesy part, couldn’t help it)

18. Travelling alone for one week made a huge difference to my overall confidence

19. Psychedelic drugs and also exposing myself so social situations I find scary or uncomfortable

20. Other ppl do a lot more shitty things than me,and I am not under any camera actually so I can be myself,and every one has their shits going on. no one actually cares what I do like I don’t care what they do.

21. I became extremely self-absorbed. Not the best technique, but I’m constantly thinking of myself… So much so that I don’t register other people all that much unless they’re relevant to me or my life in some way. I literally don’t give a single fuck about anybody anymore. It made it 10x easier to socialize.

22. I made myself realize that most people aren’t nervous to be around me, so why should I be nervous to be around them. That helped me get better at being fine in public, but I do sometimes feel nervous around people I’m not used to who I should have a good relationship with like some family members.

23. Well, I realized that people are just big bad joke, so why not have a laugh with them? Boom! Fear gone!

24. Well, I realized if people were going to judge me, they might as well do it while I’m entertaining them!

25. Kevin: Well, I realized that people are just like potatoes, some are mashed, some are fried, and some are just plain cheesy!

26. Oh, they finally gave me a comedy award for being the best hider. Turns out, hiding from people is hilarious!

27. Well, I realized that if I pretend everyone is naked, it’s a win-win situation. They feel awkward and I feel superior!

28. Well, one day I realized that people are just extras in the big movie of my life, so I decided to start giving them comedic roles.

29. Well, I realized that if I can make people laugh, then I must be scarier than them! Embrace the fear, baby!

30. Well, I realized that people are like clowns, just funny-looking creatures stumbling through life. So, I joined the circus!

31. Honestly, it was realizing that people are just as confused and ridiculous as I am. We’re all in this hot mess of life together!