Me and my girlfriend have been together for around 10 months and dating for 11 months and since around month 2 of being officially together she has told me relentlessly that she is embarrassed for me that I’m with her and that she feels sorry for me that I have to be with her, that alone is so incredibly painful to me and I don’t know how to handle it.
Yesterday for the first time in our relationship I had enough of it, when I woke up I kissed her and even before I could utter the word of “good morning” she says to me “sorry I’m disgusting” I felt so deflated and unresponsive for the rest of the day and I felt horrible as we spent the day together whilst feeling the same way and after having a long talk about it and my gf still not understanding anything about why her saying these things is damaging to me and our relationship.
She gets so distraught over this and says horrible things about her self, tells me she’s not good enough and I’ll spend hours of my day comforting and reassuring her but it never seems to get through to her and I can’t bare to keep seeing her like this as I love her too much to keep putting her through this pain. I’ve suggested therapy but she won’t go and I’ve suggested seeing a doctor to see if they would have an idea over what to do but again refused to go.
I don’t know what I should do as this is really damaging to my mental health and I’m shell of my former self which I wish I could be that person again but I do love her and I just want her to be happy and I feel like being with me isn’t what’s best for her.
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions or any way that this could get better?
Should I break up with her?
I’m sorry if this has come across as me being an asshole behind her back to trying to belittle her as that isn’t my intention I’m just lost and don’t know who to go to for help and advice.
4 comments
She has confidence issues. You just have to help her with it, it is deflating but help her feel confident and beautiful. Help her see what you see in her
i’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s very hard. i went through something similar and although it really sucks, i think leaving would be best for your mental health. the fact that you’ve already spoken about it and nothing has changed is telling. she seems to want to stay in that state. maybe give her a chance to get therapy but i’m most concerned about how it’s affecting you. you need to put yourself first at the end of the day. some people are just so negative and draining there’s nothing you can do. with or without you, they’ll still be that negative so why go down with them?
Does she have any friends that are girls? Because women usually get more confidence when they are complimented by other women.
If you’ve tried everything and she’s STILL refuses to get help. You can leave conscious free without guilt. You can’t keep staying in a negative relationship that drains you. You TRIED. I think you need to be open and blunt with her if you are serious about leaving if she doesn’t get help. Tell her you love her and support her but she HAS to get help or you’re going to have to end it. Those are your requirements.