Ex commitment phobic men, what made you decide to be in an exclusive relationship with someone?

7 comments

1. A high level of compatibility. And she isn’t an overbearing, entitled pain in the buttocks.

2. While I don’t consider myself commitment phobic, since I don’t fear commitment, I am the type of man who can be happy being single for a long time. Basically if I’m going to be in an exclusive relationship with someone, I have to be happier being with her than I am being alone. It’s that simple. If the relationship brings more stress than it’s worth, why should I commit?

3. I’m going to reinforce a fact that women usually find very hard to understand.

   Most men are not afraid of commitment. They are usually more unwilling to commit *to the specific woman they happen to be dating*. Reasons for this unwillingness are multifactorial, but usually quite justified. This is especially true in this day and age, where divorce is commonplace and initiated by the woman 80% of the time.

   We men simply have gotten wise enough to ask the question “and what does the woman bring to the table *for me*?” Women, after all, have been asking that question for quite some time now and are more empowered for it. That is good. Men get to do the same in this day and age. **We** get to decide what the woman’s worth is to us, not the woman in question. If the woman in question simply doesn’t bring what we want to the table, then no relationship, thanks.

4. I’ve been accused of being ‘ commitment phobic ‘ a few times, but I always felt I was just more aware of what commitment really meant.

   Usually, my accuser was someone who wanted full commitment way too early in our relationship. Hell, one wanted to discuss our future children before we’d made it through our third week! ( Of course, in time, I realized this was someone I would want as a partner in raising a kitten, nevermind a child)

   My commitment is deep, fierce, and unbreakable. I was in my 40s before I met a woman worthy of it.

5. She didn’t try to force it, and instead let it happen organically after staying with her for the night more often than not for a month.

6. Tricking was getting expensive.. **And** dangerous.

7. I’ve been around some women and seen everything I ever asked for when it comes to intercourse.

   I’ve always wondered if my lack of commitment towards those women will ever subside because if I was getting even the slightest hint of a “so, what are we?”-question around the corner I’d vanish in no time.

   Because in my head there always has been this “you gotta live your life to the fullest” mentality, maybe from society, maybe it was because I had something to prove to myself, being the self-conscious introvert I am.

   But the feeling never really went away even after so much “living the life” thing. So I got to a point where I was with someone some time and she got really upset about me being unable to commit to the relationship and then I kinda just went for it. Sometimes you just gotta jump in.

   We’ve been together since. Couple of years now and I don’t regret a single minute.