so me (31m) and this girl (41f) have kicked it off and it’s gotten really intense real quick. we both like each other like hanging out. I’m very aware of the dangers of continuing past a certain with this type of dynamic.
how do I know when it’s the right time to pull the trigger and say goodbye to our lovely time together. she’s a little older than me so I’m hoping she just does it. not the vibe I’m getting right now. am I doing something wrong by playing part in intensity of our communications and shit?
I don’t know I really don’t want to hurt anyone and I’m very tired of getting hurt myself. well I’m about to head to her place after leaving last night. I’ll check what you guys have to say after I get home
tl;dr – how to know when it’s time to call it quits with fast intense relationships
5 comments
why do you want to end it?
Wait, I’m a little confused. What are your intentions?
If you want a relationship but you are thinking you should cut it off because it’s so intense – the alternative is just to deliberately slow it down. Come up for air a little bit. Intentionally make time for yourself, your friends, family, hobbies in addition to a relationship. Think about what you would consider “healthy” (maybe it’s seeing each other twice a week and talking no more than 30 mins a day) – and try to stick to that and not get so swept away.
If you just want something casual, you should be clear about that now. No time like the present! If she’s clear about what you are looking for, she can make an informed decision about whether or not she wants to keep participating… The sooner you are clear about that, the less likely she will to get hurt by it all because she’s making a decision rather than being taken for a ride.
> she’s a little older than me so I’m hoping she just does it. not the vibe I’m getting right now. am I doing something wrong by playing part in intensity of our communications and shit?
Dude, stop playing these games. If you want to end things with her, end things with her.
You are being a straight-up jerk right now. You good and damn well you are wrong, so why are you asking.
It sounds like you’re saying that you’re only in it for the sex and want to know if you can cut things off before they get messy. Is that right? If not, your post isn’t very clear about what you want from this relationship, or what you’re asking.