So, I (31M) had a few dates with a girl (24F) and she wants to move in with me for a month as we live in different countries. We are both Russian.
Good things about her: she is very fun and I love her voice, I find her very beautiful, we have great sex, she is actually caring and helping me with things (like washing dishes, assembling furniture, offering to buy me something when she travels) without me even asking, she is quite smart and we have good chemistry, and we can talk for ages about anything.
Now, for the bad stuff.
First, we are from very different social backgrounds. I’m from a pretty wealthy family, and lived abroad for half my life, and she is from a poor family which made it to lower-middle class. Her relatives are questionable, to say the least: her dad is military and was thinking about joining Wagner(!) as he couldn’t make enough money – fortunately he still hasn’t done it yet. Her uncle was a mayor of one of Russia’s towns and got 2 years in prison for bribery. Basically some people that I wouldn’t really want to run into in my life.
Second, she is very dependant on her parents and doesn’t sound very motivated. She is 24 and studying to be an orthodontist (which obviously takes a lot of time), but gets all the money from her parents, and seems to just want to have fun and coast through life. She told me multiple times she would hate to “grow up” and go to work, which she will have to do at the end of this year, and not have enough free time. But on the other hand she is studying quite well and is getting excellent grades, so I’m not sure what to make of it, I personally am quite driven to achieve various things in life and am not sure about dating someone who is more “chill out”.
Finally, she is not a very responsible person, which I really dislike. She loses her things a lot, forgets appointmnets, caves into pressure from people on the street to sign up for various credit cards, gets her own credit cards lost and never replaces them.
Basically, the question is whether dating her is a good idea?
Thanks for the advice
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2 comments
Sounds like you two are incompatible long term if you have different expectations on lifestyles. You need to talk about it with her.
Your issues are kind of . . . they’re valid, but also you’re dating someone who is 7 years younger than you and is in school. Lifestyle incompatibilities are pretty common with these factors.
You talk down on her a lot. Just date someone older who is already established in life if you’re looking at how poor she is, comparing occupation, and looking at confidence.