I (16F) think a girl (17F) I was talking to romantically was planning on hurting me the next time she saw me.

(This is long and very sloppy)

I do track at my highschool and I met a girl a year ago at one of our meets and we exchanged social media. Recently I added her on her new account on Snapchat and we began talking back and forth and flirting.

She’s pretty much a hippie, and she’s really spiritual and does a bunch of stuff with drugs and plants and I guess the way she lived enticed me.

After about a day of texting though she got weirdly overprotective of me and attached. She told me that I wasn’t giving her enough attention and that I was really bad at texting her back, but I didn’t think much of it and apologized, writing it off as me being forgetful.

Eventually we planned out a day to meet up in person and I would sleep over at her house.

For reference, we both get high often and we bonded a little over that, except she actually rolls joints and I only use a THC pen, so we were planning on getting high at her house when I was going to go. Im not very adventurous at all and I don’t like to do stuff I know I shouldn’t, I honestly only get high once or twice a month when I’m stressed because I have a history of self harm and it’s a mostly harmless substitute for when I’m feeling shitty. This was really out of the ordinary for me and in hindsight I should not have trusted a girl I met like a week before to offer me drugs but I’m easily influenced especially by pretty girls.

She picked me up and we drove around a little bit and talked, and eventually we got high and watched some movies and ended up falling asleep cuddling at her house.

I could tell she didn’t really live in a good situation. Briefly she told me that her dad was an asshole and that she lived with her mom and her boyfriend- she had about twenty cats inside and around her house and like five dogs- and her mother didn’t seem to monitor her at all since i barely saw her when I went.

When we smoked, I honestly really enjoyed it since it was my first time rolling a joint and I did actually like her for a while, but i did have a small fit of anxiety because in my head I realized she could have easily taken advantage of me in that state or might have laced what i smoked, but thankfully that didn’t happen.

We were very affectionate with each other when we did hang out, and i thought maybe that it would turn to something more if things went well. We would text a lot when I wasn’t with her and I’m not the best at texting people back so she would get very upset with me when I was dry texting despite warning her that I was a dry texter with people I don’t know too well. I honestly started to get very annoyed very quickly of how helicopter-y she was of me and how much she was relying on me despite us only really talking for a week. I’m not a stable person myself so I look for stability in those I date so I figured out pretty quickly that we were not a good mix.

Eventually after another day of her telling me that I didn’t give her enough attention and she broke down crying to me about it and some other issues that were happening at home, I told her that it wasn’t healthy for her to be in a relationship with someone who can’t provide the things she needs in a relationship, and that I wanted her to be okay emotionally above all else. She blew up on me and called me a manipulator and that I used her, and that I never actually liked her and that I was a liar.

I’m bisexual and have been out since I was ten, so I’m very open about my sexuality. I don’t date much and had only ever been in one serious relationship before in my life. My whole life I’d had crushes on fictional characters because i never really met people that were my type and age in real life. I think I really only ever truly had a crush on a real person and have been in love with a real person once. That was a year ago when I tried to date a senior at my school who I had seriously liked and was rejected by him, so I went back to fictional characters.

What I’m about to say is going to sound so stupid but this girl told me that she didn’t think I was actually bisexual because I “never shut up about spiderman.” (I watched Across The Spiderverse and, like every other teenage girl that walked into the theatre, walked out with a big crush on Miguel O’Hara/Spiderman 2099. I had joked around with this girl about it and I guess she was jealous?? Of a man that doesn’t actually exist?? And is animated??)

After she said that I didn’t really take anything she was saying seriously because I realized that she was not reacting like a reasonable person would and that she was probably not mentally well. Upon further investigation I found that she had posted some things saying that the world was a “simulation” and that she was the only real person and everyone else was part of the simulation and we all worked in a system. So I broke things off quickly because personally that is a turn off.

She’d mentioned briefly to me that she had some mental problems but I do too so I didn’t think much of it. She’d posted on her social media things about how she “used to” be a pathological liar and that all her friends left her but she was “healing” and becoming a better person. I did notice that she had carved writing into her wall and spray painted things like “daddy issues” onto her ceiling.

I think she had some sort of episode while I was breaking things off with her, and I feel bad because she obviously needs help, but I am sixteen years old and am in no place to be trying to deal with that when I can barely stay stable long enough to not cut myself. I value my mental health a lot and could tell that she was taking a toll on me so I listened to myself and broke it off because I knew things were not healthy.

Anyways, the next day she told me she was better and we said we’d be better off as friends, but she said she still wanted to hang out with me and REALLY wanted to make plans with me. This rose some flags for me because the night before she tried making these plans with me, she posted on all of her social medias how I had been using her and how she hated me and how I was an awful person, and then promptly deleted them.

I let her borrow one of my hoodies previously and I wanted it back, and I didn’t want to piss her off before she could give it back to me, so I agreed to the plans she made with the full intent of ghosting her after I got my hoodie back.

When she gave it back, she posted on her story not even five minutes later about how how an unnamed person had ruined her and how karma was going to get them one day. I’m fully convinced that she was planning on hurting me the day that she wanted to hang out with me. Everyone I’ve confided with about this has agreed. Was I in danger? How can I avoid people like this in the future? I feel like she maybe had some bad intentions with me the moment we started talking and I just didn’t pick up on them. I would really like to know the warning signs of a person like this so I can avoid them.

Tl;Dr: A girl I met ended up being mentally unwell and when I broke things off, she tried to make plans with me and I think she was planning on harming me. Was I in danger? How do I avoid people like this?