I feel like I’m totally dependent on my BF and i hate it.

I (20f) am a mess and almost totally dependent on my BF (27m) to function.

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Lets *start* physically: I’m 4’11” between 150-160 lbs. I have a slew of hip problems form various sources. This results in two things, i cant ever reach anything, so i need him for that. I cant lift anything that is moderately heavy so i need him for that. And being overweight with hip problems means I’m constantly falling over and literally hanging off of him when on uneven ground.

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Lets talk mentally: I have severe C-PTSD from a horrible past relationship. I have constant night terrors. It has gotten to the point now that i cant fall asleep unless I’m cuddling with him, and if i do have a nightmare he will immediately wake me up and make me feel better. I get unreasonably angry at people and take their comments way to personally, i need him to calm me down.

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Lets talk Intellectually: I’m a dumbass. I never had the opportunity to go to high school. I’m constantly saying ignorant stupid shit. I didn’t know where Germany was untill 2 days ago. I didn’t know a cars battery could go dead until last month. I could go on for a very long time. He’s a bloody chemical engineer, I’m trying to get my GED.

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I hate this so much! I hate that I’m a defenseless little girl an i need someone to protect me often from myself. I hate that I’m emotionally unstable and often cant even make logical decisions. I feel like I’m just a burden on everyone around me, my bf says he loves me. He is extremally loving and insists I’m not hurting him, but I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or just trying to make me feel better. I feel like the only way i function is being adorable thus making people want to help me.

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TLDR: I cant do anything i need my BF. I dont like this.