Am I (F20) just a lesbian or bisexual?
Dont get me wrong, I love having sex with the male gender. I loved the intimacy that I had with my ex (M). But with that being said…
I hate the way straight relationships are. The guy expects the girl to give him bjs, hand jobs, let him cum on her face, clothing , etc. (I’m a germaphobe so that really grosses me out)
I also feel like girls are better in terms of dating. It differentiates on every person, but girls tend to be more loyal than guys. If a guy sees an attractive girl, he’ll “save her for his spank bank”.
Guys also tend to watch porn more than women, and that really is a huge turnoff for me. I think porn isn’t good for you. If you’re single, sure, but in a relationship, that’s disrespectful in my eyes. Everyone’s different though.
I feel like the female gender is better in all aspects, because with a woman, they know the pain you’re going through. They know the pains and awkwardness and how uncomfortable it is to be looked at and sexualized by lots of men.
Am I bad for thinking like this?
TLDR; am I lesbian or bisexual? I loved having sex with my ex, but I hate how straight relationships are. I feel like girls are better in all aspects, they know the pains of being a female and are more understanding and can comfort better.
7 comments
Sounds like you just met a lot of bad/incompatible men. None of what you say if necessarily true of any particular man. And I only am attracted to men and find your descriptions weird and unlike my experiences at all.
As a hetero guy I hate that too. Male centric pleasure bores and disturbs me to watch in porn. I don’t know who’s asking to see that shit.
Not all men are like that. Also, not all women are how you’re imagining they are. And why does it matter if you’re lesbian or bi? If you want to explore that, then go for it. I think the germaphobe thing would probably still be an issue regardless though.
It’s completely okay to question your sexuality. Do be careful with broad-sweeping generalizations. No two men, nor women, are exactly alike. There’s going to be exceptions to every gender “rule”. There are many women out there who are disloyal. There are many loyal men. There are women who love pornography and men who find it unethical to consume, etc etc.
Do you feel a sense of romantic and/or sexual attraction to women? Have you ever had a serious crush on a woman? Do you fantasize about women as sexual beings? Do you have feelings of passion, lust, romantic adoration towards women? Do you ever imagine yourself as the person courting a female character in fiction? I’m not asking these questions as a “gay test”. They’re rhetorical questions for you to ponder on. I understand that you *relate* better to women, but that’s not uncommon for straight or queer women. You may strongly prefer female companionship – that’s not a promised sign that you’re bi or gay either.
It may be helpful for you to look up the phrase “compulsory heterosexuality”. If you are bi or lesbian, you certainly wouldn’t be the first woman to realize it as an adult.
You also may be straight, and if you are, then you’re FAR from the lone straight woman on earth who is icked out by some common straight dude behaviours. The good thing is, not all men are the same and there are lots of guys who intentionally craft their identities to be far, far away from the brodude who likes to pound p*ssy and beer, lol.
In any case, exploring this either privately or by trying a few dates with women is totally something you can do. It can be a mindfuck questioning your sexuality. I hope you find answers that feel satisfying for you soon!
If you liked sex with a guy you seem to have sexual attraction to men in general. So not lesbian. But you’re dissatisfied with how many men behave and how many heterosexual relationships function. Which is fine and understandable but doesn’t make you gay.
Many guys don’t expect blow jobs and many more guys don’t just wanna cum on your face. I’m a guy and I think that shit is degrading. It’s also rare I get BJs from my wife but honestly….sex feels 100x better so I don’t mind that at all.
I think you may just have had bad luck with the guys that you have been with.
And that you may be somewhat romanticising that all women are going to to be hugely sensitive and considerate.
Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to suss out who is going to be inconsiderate of your needs until you’re in the situation but it’s perfectly okay to walk away from that and find someone you are more compatible with.
If anyone is forcing you into sexual acts that you are not comfortable with then that’s not ok or normal in any way.