So my bf left me after I started gaining weight after I started bc. I guess my main issue is how do I gain back confidence and find constructive ways to validate myself? I still mostly fit into all my clothes. I don’t want to go around asking people if I’m pretty or desirable or whatever, but I do want to look in the mirror and be happy again
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Why does this one single man determine if you’re “valid” or not?
How much weight did you gain?
You said that you gained 6 pounds. No one broke up with you because you gained 6 pounds. Move on
1- Your bf is an ass
2- You deserve a lot better than someone who is willing to ask something of you, to only end things because they decided against it later.
3- Never, and I mean *never* change who you are for someone. As someone else said, they don’t get to decide what makes you you. You do.
Flip it around in your head. Why would you want to be with someone who is that shallow? This isn’t a reflection on you OP this is a reflection on how shitty your bf is. Weight goes up and down for a lot of women. You could be super fit and that is still a thing because of our hormones. I’ve always been thin, modelled for 12 years, and I run marathons and play sports every week. And you know what? I probably gain 5 pounds every month during my period just due to water retention. It’s life. Plus you naturally will hold onto more fat as you age. I put on about 15 pounds after quitting modelling and my bf did not bat an eye. Most men don’t care.
This guy is not worth your time. I know it sucks because it was your first relationship but you will find a guy one day who will genuinely love you for you. Again. This reflects on his poor character. This isn’t about you.
Gain of 6 Lbs & your BF left you ? No way – there’s something more than meets the eye . Now for a moment think he left you due to that 6 lb – you are much better off without him . Mark this down . Move on with your life . Not worth spending any more time with him . You have a full life ahead of you .
Sounds like he was just looking for an excuse, be glad he’s gone.
Your ex bf is an ass, be happy he’s gone.
But realistically it’s up to you to figure out what makes you happy. When you look into the mirror now, what do you see? What do you want to change?
You have your answer in your post. Look in the mirror and just be happy with who you are. And that ex bf of yours… that’s some childish move he did. Anyways your better off alone. He just saved you from a bunch of problems ahead.
Anyway, and back to topic. It’s your body and you dont need anyone’s approval if your cute or sensual or desirable. If you see your self has those things I will bet you someone will see it too
Weight can/will be gained and lost; you’re still you. You can totally lose the weight but this should be a moment when you learn to appreciate yourself and the miracle of your body.
And when you do get back to your comfortable weight, do not let that jackhole back into your life. He showed his ass and it stinks…
Trash took itself out.
If that BC is making you gain weight and you personally are not ok with it, I’d try a different kind, however with BC this is a common side effect for a lot of people. Talk to a doctor about your options.
wait, he left you for gaining 6 pounds? SIX MF POUNDS!?!?!?! girl stand up and dust yourself off and keep going forward. crying over some silly little boy that’s turned off by a slight change in body size is a genuine waste of time and life. move on. he’s not worth half the brain space you’re giving him
man, i am sincerely losing hope in the dating world anymore. tf kind of shit is this?
Bro I bet you’re young you need to love yourself before just moulding to what people want
how old are you? how old is he?
No one is breaking up over 6lbs, it’s probably mostly water weight too.
6lbs is a barely noticeable amount. Be happy he’s your ex. He’s a moron.
What’s “bc”?
Girl your weight shows people their true personality. You should be thankful and move on. Find a better bf who will appreciate you.
Starting birth control on the request of a man is madness!! They aren’t the ones feeling all the awful symptoms they can cause (Inc gaining weight) they just want to be off the hook
Here is the one thing you absolutely must understand:
If your relationship with him was the real deal, he wouldn’t be able to even think about leaving you. Your ex would even be with a woman he considers “fat”, if she pushed all his buttons. It would surprise even HIM. He would not know how to explain it for a while, and his only explanation would be that love is blind.
Now that you know this, you can move on with peace knowing that the weight gain was merely an excuse.
He’s done you a major favor by leaving you… trust me… you don’t want any part of that hot mess’s life… what an Ahole.
Take care of your body by eating healthy and trying to get out and walk. Amazing how self care allows you to embrace yourself. Your body is a temple, treat it with love ❤️
No hunny, good riddance is all I can say…. You’re worth more than that x
Everyone here is like 6 lbs isn’t much yada yada , when the main issue is -the pure assholery of the boyfriend who left her the minute her she gained some weight .Any person who leaves if you gain/lose ANY amount of weight is a horrible and shallow person.
The only weight you needed to lose was the weight of him.Good riddance, OP. Do not blame yourself for even a second, and give yourself all the love you were going to give him!
Think of it the other way around, would you leave someone for gaining 6 lbs?? I’m going to assume not, bc you do seem like a considerate person. I would have to agree with a lot of the people here, you’re better off with out him and available to find someone who will appreciate you as a whole person.
Now if you are worried about the six pounds and want to get back to were you were, look a few things over. One, some weight gain with BC can be normal but it could also be temporary until your body adjusts over some time. Have you had any different cravings, changes in energy or how active you are?
Personally, I gave up caffeinated drinks and noticed a good amount of bloating and cramps went away, which was amazing! But I also try to include a little more exercise to maintain a healthy weight and to keep up with activities I like to do out doors like paddle boarding, hiking and jogging. And again, I like doing those things. If you are going to make changes, make them for you, for the person you want to be, not someone else.
You are young so here what noone going to tell you. Yes there always going to be things you can do to make him stay and comeback but to find true happiness you have to realize that those things are not worth it. If he left you cause you gain weight than he going to leave you for multiple of other reason in the future.
You won’t find someone who truly loves you till you learn to love yourself but it not easy.