I’ve coming to the realization that I have commitment issues and honestly didn’t realize it until I had a few relationships. Once the honeymoon phase fades I begin to question the relationship and get cold feet when it comes to thinking about marriage and in my head I think well what if I marry this person and we end after 10-20 years, that’s 20 years I wasted I could have been with someone else or doing something else with my life. How do you fix this? Has anyone ever had this kind of experience?
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I do that to girls I’m like half interested in. Kinda cute or some personality incompatibility is usually the obstacle. Everyone is different to the threshold you’re experiencing tho
So, I’m the complete opposite of having commitment issues. I knew exactly what my expectations were for my husband long before I actually met him.
My advice is to just be intentional about what you’re doing in the relationship: building a life together. Rather than the honeymoon ending and wondering if life could be better/different, you’ll be too busy living your best life with this person (or realizing that they’re not the right person and breaking up).
I think a lot of commitment issues start with not knowing what a healthy marriage looks like and not understanding that the whole point is to work together to have the marriage y’all want. When you find the right teammate you’ll keep playing together regardless of what the sport is.
Probably you have an avoidant attachment style. This can be resolved in therapy.
And you know. Probably most relationships won’t end in marriage. It’s normal to sort of lose interest in people after a bit. The fun chemicals wear off and you realize that you don’t have enough in common for long term. That’s okay! It’s for the best that most relationships fade out like that– you can both be free to find someone who is a better match.
You just want to be able to commit to the right person when they come along, and that’s where the therapy comes in.
I think youre are looking at it wrong because if you got on for 19 years great then things changed and it just didnt work know more because that happens peoples ideas and wants change. You still had 19 great years. Maybe you are trying to protect yourself so overthinking it and killing it before its begun. Just persevere with someone you like or have that conversation about you’re commitment issues if she likes you, she will see your point of view, if she doesnt then your dodging a bullet anyway. If women really like men they will do anything to make them better people and help them grow. Just what good women do best. Im a man by the way incase you think im a fucking female femist warlord.