I’ve known a female friend for 15 years or so and we both ended up in the pool at my gym one day and got to talking. She gave me her number and we started texting. Then she wrote “We could date but no sex.” I got the impression she meant forever.
Isn’t that the definition of dating? Is there any point to pursuing this or should I just move on?
23 comments
Maybe discuss it with her a bit more? But, yeah, a relationship without sex is just a friendship.
No one on reddit can read her mind. Go ask her what she meant by this.
She told you the conditions of the relationship up front. If that is not what you are interested in, best to move on.
It means don’t date her
She wants free meals and company
You’re being friendzoned.
As you’ve known her 15 years, she’s basically saying “we continue as friends, but let’s call it ‘dating’ cos then you have you do additional things for me, like taking me out, wining and dining me, or I will make you feel guilty, but I don’t need to give you sex in return.”
Bro, don’t sign this deal.
Thats means she is not interested in you sexually and prefers to have other sex partners.
You are just filling her free Time.
She wants a free dinner
“..she wrote “We could date but no sex.” I got the impression she meant forever.”
“Is there any point to pursuing this or should I just move on?”
When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it’s usually best to move on.
Unless you both are saving yourselves for marriage or have no interest in sex there’s probably no point in you two dating. Most people expect romance and sex in exclusive dating relationships.
They don’t usually invest their time/money and emotions trying to cultivate *platonic friendships*.
***”Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** — Paulo Coelho
***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Just reply “k”
High Attraction plus High Value parter = Sex + Relationship
High Attraction plus Low Value partner = Sex
Low Attraction plus High Value = Relationship
Low Attraction plus Low Value = Nothing
She has told you where she has categorised you.
You could just ask:
“Is there a reason sex is off the table?”
She may have been burned a lot n the past and wants to make sure the person pursuing her wants her for her and not just her body.
It doesn’t sound like you fit the bill.
Also the purpose of dating is to find a life partner. Everything else is just pleasure and wasting time.
Lol 26F here- you need to ask her to clarify if she means “no sex ever” or “no sex for now” and please ask her about how long she intends to wait to have sex, if ever. If she doesn’t know ask for an estimate. I usually like to wait about 1-2 months if dating before I have sex with a guy. She’s probably waiting several dates for you to promise her exclusivity before she sleeps with you so she knows you’ll still want to keep dating her after y’all sleep together. That’s why I wait so long- I wait for exclusivity first before sleeping with someone. I hope this helps ✌🏼
I read this as a test. Take her on 3 dates max, and see where it leads. Sex will happen naturally if it’s meant to be.
I would answer: I would love to hang out with you, but more as friends than dating.
Did she say forever?
Are you the type who just sleeps around?
She means no sex. Wether indefinitely or not, it’d be best for you to leave if it’s something you need out of a relationship. Nothing wrong with either of you, just different preferences. You’ll find someone that wants sex while dating, and she’ll find someone that’s either willing to wait or never have sex at all.
You should definitely talk to her about it before ending things. No point in beating around the bush and prolonging the relationship if sex is a non-negotiable.
No sex is no sex, forever alone
Um, it means she’s not having sex with you. Not sure why you’re confused.
Don’t over think it mate. See how it goes. If there is no intimacy whatsoever, you can always leave and find someone new.
Sounds like she doesn’t see you as romantic relationship material, but would hang out with you and let you buy her dinner. So you would pretend it’s a romantic situation while she tells you she is not interested in you like that. Don’t waste your time with people who don’t want the same things as you.