What do you wish your mother had taught you as a kid?

16 comments

  1. To drive. She didn’t have a car and I really wanted to learn to be independent so that I could help more as I got older! Lol.

    My boyfriend who had a car ended up helping me, but it would have been nice to be able to have my mom (whom I primarily lived with since my parents were divorced) been able to help me.

    I know it doesn’t sound like that big a deal but to me a car is a symbol of freedom and independence. Knowing I can hop in my car anytime I need to help a friend of loved one across town, or drive hundreds of miles away on a moments notice says to me “this person can handle life.” They can take car of business, they have their life MOSTLY at least under their control and they aren’t having to wait around for a bus to do it.

    I was sort poor growing up so my POV might be somewhat different because of the things I’ve been through that brought me to that conclusion.

  2. That it’s good to be immature sometimes. It’s good to be a kid. That I didn’t have to feel responsible for other people’s emotions, for her emotions. That being smart and mature didn’t count as much as being happy

  3. I wish my mom had focused less being over protective and more on basic life skills that I had to teach myself when I got older and on my own.

    Also a lot of that “over protectiveness” transferred into issues with anxiety and created habits that I’ve slowly had to unlearn.

  4. About men and dating but what would she have known? My dad was the only man she’s ever had in her life lol

  6. Conflict resolution, especially in romantic relationships/marriage.

    All I ever saw was withdrawal, emotional manipulation, battles for dominance…nothing I could actually use in my relationships once I grew up enough to realize this was not the way to be happy with someone.

  7. how to love my body, instead of just being like “you big do something about it” or whatever i wish it would of been more positives

  8. Not in a selfish sense, but that I should always put my happiness first. I’m about to be 29 and have realized that I measured my happiness by making sure I was making everyone else in my life happy first. This has been the issue of a lot of my mental health issues unfortunately.

  9. How to be an independent adult. I love my mother. But something stopped about the time she was 16.

    I knew in middle school that if something was time sensitive, trust dad with it. She was horribly sheltered all her life and went from near cult levels of insulation to my father in marriage ( He was not part of that life)

    I dont know if she could pay her bills, maintain the house, use the internet, or cook anything that wasent from a box or easily written recipe.

  11. Gave me some independence. I was overly sheltered and protected and grew to be fragile and sensitive as a result. I came a long way from there. If she did let me be, it would have spared me many years of bad judgment and anxiety

  12. The only things I wish she had taught me but didn’t are things she had zero experience in – how to date other girls, how to navigate sex while on drugs, how to identify and effectively manage mental illness.

  14. Standing up for myself. Saying no when someone makes me uncomfortable or crosses my boundaries. She taught me that being quiet, not causing a scene, and sacrificing my comfort to keep the peace was what good girls do. As a result, I let people (ESPECIALLY creepy, older men) take advantage of, use, and abuse me.

    Still unlearning all of that. I’m pretty bitter about it but I’m happy with the progress I’ve made with learning how to advocate for myself.

  15. How to have healthy relationships with men. My mother taught me to always defer to the man, he is always right and I have to keep the peace and put his needs above mine. It has taken me a lifetime to unlearn that. And she still does it! When my husband and I argue, she never sticks up for me and takes his side if he asks her opinion.

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