My wife (f36) and I (m36) have been together for 12yrs. I love her more every day, we have a beautiful family together, and I look forward to growing old with her. Our sex life is good, but she doesn’t do blowjobs to completion/cum in mouth.
She was upfront when we were dating she didn’t like it, and I respect that, but that doesn’t mean it stops being my number 1 turn on. I haven’t raised it again in all our years together, but I have been wondering if:
Q: Over time, has your taste preferences to swallowing cum changed? Did anyone start as a “No” only to change their views later in life? Was there something that made you reconsider your position?
I know that the importance of communication will be highlighted, which I absolutely agree with, however I feel weird about raising it, particularly given her clear communication 12yrs ago and my (perhaps wrong) belief that these preferences are largely set and don’t change.
Thank you for your advice and experiences š
26 comments
There are tastes and textures of food people hate. But as they get older, they many times learn to like at least some of them. So I would say there is a real possibility that detractors will learn to like the taste of pussy or cum.
Starting out giving bjs I was not into swallowing cum. I loved the feeling of oral sex, sucking, licking etc, but always asked to be warned when my partners were about to cum so that could finish off by hand. However, over the years there have been many accidental slips and when this happened I would spit out as much as possible. When it spurts straight down the throat that is not possible, so I suppose I have become used to it when it happens.
My wife swallowed in her twenties, didn’t swallow in her thirties then started swallowing again in her forties.
Iāve always liked it. It feels like confirmation I did something right, and frankly it tastes nicer than a fair amount of actual food. Which would you rather eat, cum or a school dinner?
I think it depends. My FWB’s is delicious and I swallow very easily. Where as I’ve been with Other men where I physically have not been able to swallow.
I’ve always loved swallowing so that hasn’t changed, but it does depend a bit on the guy. I hate to say it, but some guys’ cum just taste really terrible, while others’ is almost actually tasty. So if I was with a guy with awful tasting cum repeatedly, I’d not be into swallowing, at least not on a regular basis. Although I’m not into it for the taste, that still does factor in. And some people are just more (badly) affected by the taste of cum than others. But for me, the average guy tastes just fine, so it’s not a problem in general, and the action of swallowing itself does turn me on.
Some of my sexual preferences never changed. Like swallowing, or some of my favorite positions, or the time of day I’m most likely to be in the mood. But some of my preferences have changed over time. Like I used to be into anal but now I’m not anymore, or that I used to hate having sex on anything that isn’t a bed, but now I like doing it on all sorts of surfaces/furniture, or that I used to be into all sorts of kinks, but now I just want primarily vanilla, and so on. So just because some of my preferences have not chabged yet doesn’t mean they never will.
Our taste buds change throughout life, our bodies/sensitive areas can gain or lose sensitivity affecting what types of stimulation we like, our emotional needs can change as we grow and change as people, which can affect what types of (if any) kinks we’re into. And so on.
Usually there’s some reason why we are or aren’t into a specific thing. It can be for a physical reason, psychological reason, or a mix of both. For ex, the reason I stopped being into anal is purely physical, which is a bit of a bummer because psychologically it still turns me on, ie the thought of it. So maybe that issue could be fixed, and maybe I would try to for the right guy. But if it had been instead a lack of liking the activity altogether on a psychological level, well then any guy I’m with would just have to… butt out about it.
So for some, swallowing is just either arousing or off-putting, while for others it’s a sensory thing, that they either like how it feels/tastes or don’t like it’s taste and/or texture. Or it could be any combination of those. You can talk to your wife about her reasons if she’s willing to share. Because if it’s just your cum’s taste that’s the issue, you might be able to improve it by eating better. But if it just doesn’t turn her on, well then you just gotta put up with that, I guess. Physical issues causing a dislike for a sexual act are generally an easier fix.
My partners late wife didnāt do BJs and it was on his absolute list of things he wanted to experience but he respected that she didnāt want to and they had a wonderful marriage. It was the first thing I did with him and I had no idea at all about him not having them.. he thanked me a lot bless him, but if it makes you feel better, whilst he enjoys getting them itās no longer something that is a big deal for him so much now and I joke that heās had so many now he can turn them down.
Honestly. Youāve been married all this time, I think if youāre not in the position to say ālook, there is one thing I would love to try at least once in my life and thatās for you to go down on me and let me finish in your mouth, I understand itās been a hard no at the beginning and I havenāt pushed it, but this is genuinely something I would appreciate you trying with me at least once and if there is ANYTHING I can do for you in return I promise I will give it my absolute best that I can to accommodate it. I would just like this experience at least once with the woman I loveā hopefully sheāll go along once for you and if she does you make sure you make her feel like a goddess for doing it and sheās more likely to try new things in the future. Also try to make sure you cum quick rather than hold back at all, I can imagine youād want to make it last but if she doesnāt get horrific jaw ache and sees you happy sheās much more likely to repeat the event.
Best of luck.
I have gotten use to it. FYI my boyfriends cum taste like acid. When heās cumming my boyfriend doesnāt care if i swallow. So i lift my tongue and make it like a wall. So it drips out as he does it. Swallowing took me a while to get use to. I did it in previous relationships and never cared for it. However, if you want her to swallow. The best way is to cum down her throat and warn her before youāre going to cum. She will gag, i did as well. But, if sheās willing to try and learn. It will work out!
Maybe you can finish in her mouth and then she can go spit it out. Thatās what I do
I just to be okay with it when I was younger, but can’t really do it anymore. For me I think it’s because we had sex all the time back then, so there was less semen and it was less concentrated. I just can’t take it anymore even though I sometimes try.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you two try it again some time, maybe do it when you have already cum that day.
Iāve never minded swallowing.
My wife swallowed in her early 20s, didnāt in her late 20s, now swallows again in her early and mid 30s. Sheās come to the realization that itās easier than having to run to the bathroom with semen chillin in her mouth to spit it out
Love swallowing…always loved swallowing….always will love swallowing.
Amazingly sexy feeling
Keep trying things. All tastes/desires can shift with time.
30f here been with my fiancĆ© for 6 1/2 yrs. I will say from a female perspective how you eat and drink really affect how it tastes and feels in your mouth. Usually when my fiancĆ© is super hydrated it tastes the best. Especially when he drinks more water and less diet soda (Artificial sweeteners like aspartame) Iām allergic so his cum will make my mouth tingly and numb, so I tend to spit on these days but as long as heās been drinking plenty water I will swallow. Blowjobs are his favorite thing so I want to bring him as much pleasure as possible. Maybe bring up wanting to try it again and if she doesnāt like it even now then so be it but at least you tried. Itās been 12 years maybe she might like it and she doesnāt even know. Itās a hassle to clean up cum. Just swallow š donāt forget HYDRATE!!!
It’s within the realm of possibility, but don’t get your hopes up that it’s a guarantee to happen with your wife!!
For me itās entirely dependent on the guy and how horny I am. For example, Iāve had some guys that straight up tasted DISGUSTING. Others who donāt taste like anything I enjoy doing it unless for some reason Iām just not horny atm. (Tired from work, stressed, etc)
I started being more-than-fine with swallowing my own cum about two years ago. It took some “training” and play to get to that point.
Mine changed from always to never. There’s a few reasons. I literally think I might be allergic. When it gets on my skin, I get a short-lived rash. And when I swallow, it makes me feel nauseated. I think the act is hot. I even like other things that people think are super gross. But for some reason, I start feeling nauseated a few minutes later. And finally, several years ago, I once opened my mouth and saw solids on my tongue after swallowing a load. Hasn’t set right with me since.
Iāve never liked swallowing cum even when I did it, it was more of something I did because I thought I had to, now Iāll do it for my partner but still canāt stand the saltiness and texture so he typically doesnāt even allow me to knowing I donāt like it lol i still do bjs to completion I just let him cum on my face/boobs
I always swallowed but cum used to give me horrible heartburn. As I got older and started to care less about how messy I got during sex, I started to really enjoy the mix of bodily fluidsāsweat, pussy juice cumāall Over me. And it allowed me to enjoy sloppy blowjobs more, and now I love cum. Sometimes if itās gloppy and I see it it grosses me out but it feels great in my mouth!
Nope, Iāve never liked swallowing. Canāt stand the consistency
My boyfriend stopped drinking alcohol and now his cum tastes better, so Iām willing to swallow now.
Where as I’ve been with Other men where I physically have not been able to swallow.
The taste of your cum will change with your diet. Eating fruit and stuff like that will influence the taste the same way that eating takeout and drinking soda will have a negative influence. People’s tastes do change but it’s more likely that your taste would change first.
As I’ve heard from many partners, it’s not ice cream no matter what you do. If she doesn’t like swallowing cum, it’s unlikely she’ll do anything beyond tolerating it on special occasions.
Why would you push something that she told you upfront she does not like to do? If she has a change of heart Iām sure she will do it on her own accord. This is no different than a woman saying āI donāt like anal sexā yet a man thinking he can make her change her mind about it. You have a great marriage and sex life as u just stated. You married her regardless of this kink of yours. I find it extremely annoying if someone asks me to do something that I already said No to. Respect peopleās boundaries !!