I started a new internship and it’s been my second day, we basically sit in conferences and talks and kinda kinda just listen for information. It’s a small task but a good place so I kinda have to keep going with it.
I do have social anxiety and often that kinda just results in my not liking people from my own perceptions without really giving them a chance, but most of these people are just so irritating, with no sort of etiquette of any sort or professional behaviour. Or attire, my goodness I feel like people just show up in the clothes they were wearing to bed. On top which our instructors are kinda good looking guys so the girls are going crazy over them, laughing at every freaking thing they say.
Idk this just bothers me for some reason, maybe my expectations of human behaviour are high? I just need help maintaining myself so I can continue for the next month or so.
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I’m not sure if this helps. I notice that when I’ve gone a long time without meditation I seem to have a lot less patience. I’m a pretty easy-going guy who’s like everybody’s friend at work, but in the last 4 years I’ve yelled at people 3 different times – always when I haven’t been consistent with my meditation practice. When I meditate regularly I seem to be able to tolerate everything without letting it get to me. It’s not a cure-all for all my problems, but it does seem to make a big difference.
Ugh. This is a tough one. I have struggled with this one for my entire adult life.
If their behavior doesn’t directly impact you:
* Try to laugh it off. Humans, including yourself, can be ridiculous at times. Girls going crazy over a hot guy – just human nature. Heck – it’s just animal nature. Imagine peacocks preening for a mate and the peahens flocking around.
* Lower some of your expectations for yourself. If the dress code says it’s OK to wear PJs, don’t feel like you have to dress to impress. On the flip side, enjoy the fact that these folks make you look good for having basic grooming and appropriate clothing.
* Reframe judgement as preferences. You’re allowed to have preferences about things like dress and behavior. In some settings you’re even allowed to express preferences. Other people are also allowed to have and express preferences. It’s ok to have different preferences.
If the behavior DOES impact you:
* Have boundaries. I’m not sure what etiquette you’re specifically referring to, but it’s OK to have boundaries if someone is talking over you. “I’m still speaking.” or if people are late to your meeting, it’s OK for you to start on time.
* Recognize that a lot of behavior is culture based. Try to engage with curiousity about why someone does things differently than you do. Maybe they were raised that way, maybe their behavior is the standard where they grew up. Acknowledge the cultural differences – your culture is valid too.
Also… some folks will call you judgemental for having good judgement and standards. Try not to be too rigid, but it’s OK to uphold certain standards in your own life. It’s OK to have values that are important to you. And it’s OK for you to observe how other people behave and make decisions about whether or not you want to spend your free time or energy with them.
definitely lower your expectations, and make a note of what irritates you. sometimes we are envious (the guys getting attention) and sometimes we are irritated by things people do because our ego won’t let us notice that we do that as well. try to sit back and watch it as free theater. people are really silly and can be pretty entertaining. you can practice the art of detachment and be an observer.