Hey everyone, could definitely use some advice/wisdom right now. I turn 28 at the end of this year and have been feeling pretty lost for a long time and wonder if anyone else has overcame similar struggles at my age and what your life looks like now. No degree, great credit, and enough savings to start building a life basically anywhere I want with no responsibilities.
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To start, I have always been an underachiever. AP classes in high school, extra-curriculars like model UN and Power of the Pen, everything you can think of but I never tried to apply myself. I wanted to hangout with friends and party and smoke weed instead. After high school, I went to community college for 1 year and never returned after finishing that first year due to the same reasons. Ever since then, I don’t party anymore but I have been stuck in unskilled retail jobs making decent money for my area but no real forward mobility.
Currently, I work a pretty dead-end, unskilled service job in a very LCOL area. It’s a small town in the mid-west (sub 20k people.) Although I make more than I should for the job and live in a cheap town, I have spent my entire life in this area and need a change. Recently I have been living with my single mother again to help her with bills, which has allowed me to also save a considerable amount of money. I have also known that I’ve wanted out of my small-town since I was 16, I only now have the financial means to do so and want to make that leap. I know deep down it’s the best thing for me but I’m still so terrified that I’ll fall into my old habits and not meet anyone or make any meaningful connections/progress on life.
With that being said, I am moving to a city of around 900k in 2 months and I am honestly scared shitless lol. It’s only 1.5 hours away from home and I know the city well. I also have a few friends/family members there already so I won’t be completely alone and I have jobs lined up for retail/food/service jobs but I can’t work in this industry forever. I want to pursue a career in CompSci or something IT/tech related, or finance. Those are my interests but my first year in community college straight out of high school has me scared to try again because I didn’t take it serious and apply myself but part of me thinks I’m finally ready.
Also, my overall mental health isn’t the greatest. I’m not an introvert per say, but I have a bit of social anxiety and generally feel awkward/out of place. Not so much when I’m with my friends, but I struggle to meet new people at a bar alone for example or strike up conversations with strangers, or flirt with/ask a girl out. I use to get dates a lot when I was younger and have had 10-12 partners, but nothing has ever stuck or been long-term. After the pandemic it’s been even worse with isolation and now I won’t even talk to girls I’m interested in or ask them out due to fear of rejection even though I know I’m generally considered attractive (5’11, 145-150) How do you get over this? I’m hoping the new city will help because there will be 20x the amount of people and I won’t feel like it’s a high-school reunion every time I go out in my hometown due to how small it is. I’m actually pretty outgoing, I just keep to myself in my small town because it’s always the same people if that makes sense?
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TL;DR
Basically I’m just looking for advice/stories from anyone that’s felt unhappy in their current situation and decided to completely change everything like location and career and tips that worked for you on things like making friends and dating. Mostly dating to be honest lol, I’m decent at making friends with guys.
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