So a little bit about me. When I was really young I was diagnosed with autism. I didn’t feel that different from other kids until people picked up on my quirks. That’s when I knew I was “kinda” different. I was considered to be high functioning and still am now. Through grade school I didn’t really think about how people perceived me. That of course would change in middle school as I grew to be more perceptive. I think people saw me as a bit of weirdo or just “special”. For example some people dared me to do something and someone said along the lines of “stop you’re taking advantage of him”. I mean… I’m alive, I’m present, it’s not like I’m completely helpless. Comments like that might have been in good faith and where completely fine, but looking back on it makes me feel dehumanized. Like I am watching my life from the outside looking in. Fortunately, things got better. In high school, I never really thought about my social life. But after all of this looking back on it, I think I might have developed a unreasonable output on life. I think my whole life leading up to this point has felt unreal. Like I am not even human. Like I am not even worthy of the body I possess. I think because of this negative head space, I have a developed a self fulfilling prophecy, leading me to make false presumptions about how people perceive me. What do you think?
2 comments
well to be honest w you, this post felt like i was reading my own thoughts minus me only being diagnosed 6 months ago.
and it’s funny because I’ve been sitting here telling myself “no.. that can’t possibly be the thought process.” but to have such similar experiences and thoughts, it kinda felt like confirmation of this thought process on my end.
As someone who coaches for a living.. yes.
The short answer is you become who you think you are, self limiting beliefs lead to self fulfilling prophecy’s. The question, my friend is how long are you going to choose to stay stuck ?