Whenever I talk to people, I tend to be a listener and feel as if whatever point I want to say is not that important. Sometimes Ill trail off mid-sentence, speak too slowly or just cringe after saying what I just said.
So I end up resorting to asking questions and letting them talk. I know this is bad to do cuz its like “interviewing” them which people eventually get uncomfortable with.
But how I stop myself from doing this and be confident enough to say my own piece? And what do I say when I just dont know what to reply? Any advice is appreciated 🙏
2 comments
If you don’t know what to say or reply then asking questions is good. Sometimes, I try to relate what someone else is saying to what I’ve experienced which allows for rapport building. Though, of course, it’s not good to do that always as it may come across as “look at me!”
Other times, certain cues like “oh really?” and “aaahhh” may make someone go “yeah exactly!” and they end up speaking because they feel you’re understanding them.
However, despite the various things you can say, sometimes there isn’t actually much to say and you just have to accept that. We can’t be social with everyone of course.
>And what do I say when I just dont know what to reply?
As a last resort, very often last 2-3 words can be repeated, like:
– him: Yesterday I was in a theatre
– me: In a theatre?
– (other party can elaborate more)
Anyway OP, you are on a good path, you just need to persist and train with people. From my experience, it gets easier with time. Sometimes I just say anything which comes to mind and then wait what happens.