It’s something that really bothers me, when a girl assumes that I’m just out for sex when really I just want to get to know them and maybe befriend them. It tends to be assumed that I have bad intentions. I hear a lot of bad stories from girls dealing with guys who harass them over sex, and I can get that’s an understandable fear, but I also really wish I wasn’t immediately lumped in and categorized with a bunch of guys who just desperate to get their dick wet. I feel like I’m immediately written off before I even get a chance.
I don’t even care about sex *that* much. People are always like “**gasp,** a straight guy who doesn’t care about sex??” Like yeah, sex is great and all with the right person and at the right time. It’s not like I don’t think about sex, but I’d rather get to know someone than just….you know, have sex with them and that’s it. The enjoyment from sex is very fleeting, but the enjoyment from getting to know someone lasts. And that’s honestly the main thing I’m after when I’m trying to get to know someone, whether they are a girl or a guy. If I meet a girl and sex happens, then great, but I’m in no way expecting to have sex with some random girl that I’m just trying to get to know. I’m not into hookups and I usually need a stronger emotional connection with someone before I can be physical with them.
Maybe it is the way I act, I won’t rule that out. But honestly I avoid saying anything sexual or flirtatious when I’m trying to talk to someone new. If I compliment a girl, it’s usually on something like clothing or makeup or something like that. I just try to be a friend. But maybe that’s the problem? Do I need to be more aggressive and bold or something and a little less friendly? I really don’t know. I want to have closer bonds and relationships with women but it’s been very difficult. I have a few girl-friends but not many.
Any advice for me?