I dated someone platonically for a few months until he told me we are better as friends over text. The friendship was emotionally intimate and we hung out frequently, even flirtatious at times. I found it really hard to shake off my feelings for him and naively remained hopeful that something might come out of a stable friendship. As friends, I’m totally open to him seeing other people and I also kind of started seeing new people, although I thought we would give each other a heads up when we do so…
Fast forward, we were both invited to a party last weekend. He texted me a few hours before the party in a group chat with 2 other people that I don’t have the number for, and was like “hey would love to have you come over for dinner and a little pregame”. Fun, I thought. After I showed up, I felt awkward at first. The 2 other girls in the same group chat are friends for a long time, and they started chatting about how they met and how with all the random connections “…and you guys started dating”. WAIT WHAT?! THEY’RE DATING??? I had a gut feeling that he’s close to this girl but had no idea they are dating and seems like I’m the last person to know…I felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, avoided eye contact with him for rest of the night, and never wanted to leave a pregame for a party so badly……Is he just that oblivious about my feelings for him, or is this his way of hard launching his new girlfriend? If so, that’s so so immature and unthoughtful…Now I don’t even know if I want to be friends with him anymore.
1 comment
how do you date platonically?
regardless he told you directly that he just wanted to be friends. if was at that point you should have excused yourself from the situation. you persisted so that signaled you were fine with being friends. it is not advised to fake friendship in hopes of something more happeneing. it rarely does.