I feel betrayed

Ex gf slept with her ex

Tl;Dr my ex gf slept with her ex after we had been sleeping together for the past year while I was trying to fix things

Hello,

Post got taken down again for not including a question mark

This is one of my first posts on here so sorry if I don’t know the rules.

My ex gf (f 25 who I will name Chloe) and I (m 26) broke up last year in June after dating for 2 years, we lived together until October 10th of last year and we were still continuing to have sex. After I moved out I seen that her ex was following her on instagram, not a big deal to most people until you get a sense of who this guy is. She would tell me how awful this person was as she would self harm when they first dated and he would tell her to kill herself and cut herself, he also cheated on her and got another girl pregnant, then proceeded to ask Chloe if she cheated on him be he got chlamydia which he got from cheating on her.

I blew up on her around November 10th because of her allowing this guy into her life again after he’d been blocked for more then 4 years and when we broke up my only request was to her never to go back to this guy because he was such a terrible person. She denied that they had talked and called me a shitty person like her ex for my choice of words when I was angry on finding out he was following her. She forgave me and we continued to have sex until April of this year.

She’s moving this august and me still being considerate/ caring/ loving her reached out to her friend (Bailey) she had a falling out with that she should reconcile because of how much the fall hurt Chloe in March. Her friend proceeded to tell me some things and also that she didn’t not approve of Chloe’s life choices which included talking and sleeping with her ex. After a conversation with Bailey she told me Chloe had been seeing her ex since October of last year up until there falling out and were sleeping together.

I got all the info I could and confronted Chloe, she denied it at first but after multiple times of asking I told her if she genuinely loved me and cared for me that I needed the truth. She proceeded to tell me they slept together once In the start of February, a week before my birthday which we went out together and slept together that night. I wasn’t mad, wasn’t sad, I just felt betrayed as I am very careful about my sex life and also just because of who it was with.

Not only were my thoughts in November correct but they had seen each other a week after I moved out, she swears they only slept together once the entire 8 months of them on and off talking and seeing each other. I don’t believe her but after asking for my own sake I finally do believe she’s being truthful.

My main thing is in December of last year before I got diagnosed with psoriasis I had something near my genital area and considered it maybe and std but the only person I was sleeping with was her asked if she had slept with anyone and she denied it. Tests were clean as it was psoriasis and she assured me she has no interest in sex with anyone else or being with with anyone else and we promised we would tell each other if we slept with others just to be safe and respectful. I asked her multiple times until this April as I had a feeling she was and she always denied it.

When I confronted her she told me she got diagnosed as bipolar and she thinks she was in a episode the past several months and slept with him out of self hate. I don’t want to be inconsiderate but this doesn’t feel like a mistake, she swears she hated it and feels gross with herself and never meant to hurt me. I have been trying to get with her to fix things the past year as I truly love this girl and she always rejected the thought of it as she was moving and insisted she didn’t want to see anyone at all romantically. After this she has told me one of the reasons she denied me was because if we were to try to work things out it meant her talking to me about this, I believe she would’ve never told me if I didn’t find out.

Now that I know she has admitted she doesn’t want to stop talking to me and is considering maybe working things out cause I guess the guilt is off her shoulders. I am just confused because a part of me does want to try and the other part of me just wanted to move on after I found out as I had no reason to be trying anymore. She obviously didn’t cheat but it feels like I got cheated on or worse that I do not know who this person is. She’s been talking to me more and doesn’t want me to stop talking to her, she wants to get situated in her new city after moving and consider it we could work…. I am tired of waiting and with no guarantee I would just be waiting for heartbreak again… This has killed my self confidence as I feel less than this guy who is absolutely garbage and I just feel betrayed.. thoughts on what I should do? Should I even try to stay friends with her?