I (19M) think my friend (19F) is bad for me, should I cut her off?

Sorry for the long post, there’s a lot to say and I’m not doing very well. Some background info that might be relevant is that I have autism and have a very hard time making close friends, which had lead me to being very lonely and having poor self worth

This isn’t a romantic relationship, but instead a platonic one. I need help figuring out if I should cut my friend off or not, I have been doing very poorly mentally for the past month and have a history of suicide contemplation, this goes back a lot further then when I first met her, I have a hard time speaking to her about my issues because of the way she has reacted to it in the past, she is my closest friend, and one of only two that I have, I considered us very close and she has said the same, we would hang out on call and play together for 4 hours a day on average for an entire year, it was rare to not play every day, every week, until for about a month she stopped asking me to play and hangout. I reached out And told her that i am not doing very good and she got upset at me for this, saying that I’m not telling her what’s wrong on purpose and that if I’m not going to tell then I should just talk to someone else. She is aware that I only have one friend besides her and that i deal with loneliness very intensely, I reached out to ask if everything is ok and to find out why she might have stopped talking to me despite her being online almost all the time and plays with her friends everyday on the server We’re apart of, she said that she doesn’t really care if we don’t play, this really hurt me as she is the only friend who i felt actively wanted to spend time with me, but now she is saying she doesn’t care if we don’t play anymore.

It is important for me to elaborate on our past as friends too, we have had lots of arguments before, almost everysingle one has stemmed from the way she tends to speak to me and my mental health, whether it’s her being annoyed at me for “ruining the mood” when I sound sad or from me feeling unheard when she doesn’t respond or acts disinterested when I speak, which hurts a lot since she is a big speaker and likes to have monologues where i listen to her and what she wants to say, It’s getting to the point where I’m confused whether she cares about me as a friend or not, she has spent so much time with me, and almost every single time she is the one who initiates, yet sometimes she acts nonchalant in a way that seems like she wouldn’t care if I blocked her and never spoke again, I am very sad and really need help, therapy is helping but it’s hard to imagine me finding friends again like I thought I did with her, i am very scared to feel lonely again like before.

Any help is appreciated, thank you so much