So about five years ago I met A(24F) through some mutual friends and really hit it off from the start. She just got out of a serious relationship, and wasn’t over it at all yet. To me, she was basically my dream girl, and I was very open about this to her. We decided to be friends because we got along so well.
We became great friends in rapid pace, we basically texted/called almost all day every day. At first this was very much not a problem because I was able to put my feelings aside for this friendship. However after about 10 months, the feelings slowly started to creep in for me.
She always had a lot of attention from other men, much to her chagrin. I didn’t mind this at first, but it all came to a head in one of the lowest points of my life mentally. I had just lost my childhood dog, quit my job with a burnout and had some serious family problems going on at the same time. This coupled with my growing feelings for her, caused my jealousy to get the better of me. We talked about it, I apologized, and we decided to cut contact for a little while to let it cool down.
After about a couple weeks, she sent a message to check in on me, and for some reason my idiot ass decided to ignore it. Fast forward to now, we haven’t spoken for four years. After crawling out of my own mind, I recently had another bad period in my life, and started thinking about her again. Not in a romantic way, but because I do miss talking to her.
I feel like the way I handled the situation back then was incredibly unfair, because I basically decided for the both of us. I thought of reaching out and apologising about how things ended, and maybe leaving it at that, but I feel like this is also unfair to both of us and feel like this is a bad idea.
So I’m asking if this is a decent thing to do. Just apologise, no expectations.
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tldr: I want to reach out to a former friend to apologise about the way I ended the friendship, but feel as if this is too late/unfair towards both of us to do so now.
2 comments
It’s been 4 years. You don’t know her anymore. Let her live her life.
Apologizing only benefits you at this point. At the least you ease your guilt, at the best you get her back in your life.
What does she get? Whatever you did or said to her because you couldn’t take the male attention she got it was bad enough you had to apologize to her, and then you ghosted her when she reached out. Why would she want you back in her life after that? It’s been 4 years. She’s likely moved on completely and doesn’t even think about it.
You should do the same. Instead of taking this energy and thinking about the past, use it as a lesson in future friendships and romantic partners.
Did you ever actually ask her out btw?