I (F45) have a dating age range of 31-61. When I actually find someone looking for long-term monogamy, the guys ALWAYS want kids.
I have one kid who’s grown & out of the house and another who is mere years from (possibly) being out of the house. If I met someone *now* and it ended up being one of those instant clicks with exclusivity shortly after, it would be a minimum of 2yrs before I’d give birth, presuming there are no fertility/conception issues (1yr dating, then pregnancy). I don’t want more kids to begin with but, if that did happen, I’d be 47 with an infant!
What is this obsession so many men seem to have with wanting biological kids? Is it possible for them to change their minds?
20 comments
Many men want to have their own bio-kids to grow and carry their generation.
The idea that a child gets to learn all of the shit that they did or they had to learn how to teach a kid to get away from the bad shit that they went through.
It’s a big thing to even want.
Men at that age range are at increased risk of giving genetic defects to children. So inform them that it’s a two-way street and not as simple as they think. That being said it’s hard for everyone to have kids right now.
It’s the bloodline pride that takes over.
Having pride in someone else with that “THIS IS MY KID, I am happy” kind of pride.
Good people exist just gotta look hard for em.
Never, ever expect or hope someone will change their minds about wherever they’re at on having kids. Take them as they are, save everyone stress
I’m not marrying anyone until I’ve dated them for at least 3 years. Let alone have kids with them. I don’t want kids, I never have. Awhile back I was talking to an old fling about getting back together. He said he still wanted kids, but he’s 36. And doesn’t have the kind of life that facilitates children. It just seems bonkers. Why on earth would you want to raise small children in your 40s? Also, those poor kids are going to be so young by the time you’re so old.
Men have been culturally trained to just think of kids as something to have. Women have as well but it seems to be even simpler in men’s minds. They don’t do any research on what it means medically. Some of them don’t even think of the financial burden. They don’t think of the amount of work that raising kids will take, sure maybe they had a thought about changing a diaper once. But let’s be real, most dads don’t even know what their kids doctor’s name is. They aren’t going to be doing the work. They just “have a kid.” Maybe they have romantic ideas about throwing a ball in the backyard.
I’m sure there’s going to be some “Not all dads” comments, and no one is saying that good dad’s don’t exist. But are they the majority? Absolutely not.
It’s kind of a silly question, isn’t it? Why did you want kids? You have your kids and they’re grown up so you don’t want more, that’s understandable but you must understand why other people who don’t have kids, want kids. I wouldn’t try and change someone’s mind on something like that. However, you absolutely can decide that you don’t want to be with somebody that wants kids because you’re done with that
Best bet is to find someone that also has children of their own. Then you don’t have to try and “change” them.
Probably something about passing on their genetics and lineage or whatever
Why not date guys who already have grown children as well?
It’s kind of in our DNA to carry on our genes to the next generation and so on.
Just ask Genghis Khan
Why did you have a kid of your own instead of adopting?
Its probably the same answer.
This is a stupid question. Why do guys want biological children? To carry on the namesake duhh
They don’t have to take the major caregiver role. If they did, they’d change their tune pretty fast.
so date men that already have kid (S) and problem solved.
You’re gonna have to date a 45 yo man who already has kids that left the home too.
Idk how small or large that pool is.. but, that’s it.
Either that or find guys on r childfree
It’s totally normal to want kids. If you don’t want more kids, put that in your bio and let men know up front before the first date.
Would you change your mind about having kids? No, then why expect them. If you are dating someone in 30s, they would definitely want to have kids. It’s their biological need too.
What up with these woman wanting tall men..She 5’2″ but want a man that’s 6’5″.
It’s crazy for you to ask why men want kids . When you already had yours.
Men want to take care of their own kids not someone else kids.
I hope that explains it.
Well then maybe you should just look for men 40+ bc it’s very likely men in their 30s will want biological children.
So we can pass keep passing our name down to each generation… jfc