So pretty much i (16m) haven’t seen her (16f) in weeks and whenever I try to make plans she goes dry and makes excuses, she was housesitting a couple days ago and she asked if I wanted to stay, then said she changed her mind and it’s best if I don’t but has 7 of her friends over including other guys.
She just sent me snaps of her in the suburb I live in (40 minutes from her house) and she’s with another guy, apparently she’s off seeing a friend but I don’t know they were next to each other on the bus and he was almost leaning on her and she posted him multiple times.
I try to make plans every day and she always says she’s busy or tired or working but she can make time for other guys and her friends?
Idk what to do about it any advice?
TL;DR
My girl doesn’t want to see me I haven’t seen her in weeks and she’s out with other guys.
13 comments
you guys are young, i might’ve missed it in the post but y’all probably haven’t been dating for long too, she’s probably not ready to commit to someone. she isn’t really making time for you and she isn’t even trying to hide it. i feel like she’s just not being respectful of the relationship, this relationship is most likely gonna end pretty soon. either on ur end or hers. but it should be you ending it. just my opinion, good luck
It’s the end. You can officially start to searching for a new girl.
sorry bro but it doesn’t sound good, I’d stop trying to reach out and see how long it takes her to initiate something, that’s usually a good way to tell how important you are to someone.
You’re burnt, time to move on.
I was in a relationship from 15 until 18, broke up and suddenly met someone at 19 then before I knew it, I accidentally got pregnant at 20 and had a baby at 21. I wouldn’t change my life and I’m grateful but I wish I had someone to tell me to live it for me and only me. So I hope it okay for me to say it to you, don’t worry about this girl and go live your life. Hope it works out!
Just tell it’s not working and why.
Yeah bro this happened to me too once, every weekend im trying to make plans but she was always traveling 4hrs by train to another city to party with friends. I ghosted her a couple of days we got a huge falling out and broke up. Get a girl who wants nothing more than to see you and be sad when you leave. Now im living with my gf of 4 years in the city she used to go to and i cant be happier
So you’re both 16, you’re both young and it’s probably your first relationship. BUT. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship or a friendship, if you can’t treat the other person with respect and won’t spend time with him/her, but manage to meet your ither friends, what does it mean? You have the time. But you don’t want to spend it with them.
I’m in my mid 20’s in a very, very similar situation as yours. Try talking, tell her about how you feel and what you expect from a relationship. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean your feeling should be disrespected. And if it doesn’t work as you wish – let her go. “You’re still young” 🙂
This is why you shouldn’t date in high school girl drama not worth it, hang out with friends and enjoy being young..
Hey there,
Friendly older sister vibes here! (26f)
First, I want to extend my condolences that you’re being treated this way…growing up I dealt with very similar situations and feelings when dealing with guys, feeling unwanted and less than because of it. What helped me get through those times were different exercises to help me understand my feelings and emotions, think about what I was going to say, and think about the other person’s feelings and emotions.
I would start by writing and list of the pros and cons of the relationship. If there are more cons than pros that’s fine, as long as you note which ones can be worked on and which ones can’t. If there’s too much to work on and you’re already feeling overwhelmed, then it might be best to call it quits, but do so our your own terms, (i.e. tell her whatever relationship needs that are not being met).
Next, write out a list of all the emotions you feel towards her and the situation and note why you feel those things. You should also try to put yourself in her shoes, ask yourself what actions and behaviors did she display before and how did they change? How do you feel like she should treat you vs. How has she been treating you?
From your post, regardless of her being of girlfriend status, it doesn’t seem like she’s being a good friend, and I think it would be hard to be in or continue a relationship with someone you can’t even be a friend to.
Lastly, Write a letter to her expressing all of what you feel. Let it all out. Then either shread/trash or burn the letter. This process is to build up your ability to express yourself and your needs while taking into account how the other person may feel and because you already know what you want to address, it can help the interaction go smoother.
I don’t want you to feel so overwhelmed with your emotions that you feel like suicide is the answer. Suicide is a permanent decision to deal with temporary problems and I say that because in an instant the entire situation can change but by making that decision, you don’t allow yourself to see anything get better.
I hope my advice and exercises help. Do seek a counselor so you can talk to someone nearby and trusted that can maybe help more than internet strangers. Please take care of yourself.
It sounds like she isn’t in to this relationship with you anymore. Call it off and move on. You’re suffering because you’re the only one giving in this situation. It obviously doesn’t effect her so do yourself the favor and move on.
It sounds like she isn’t interested in spending time with you. Dump her and find someone who is.
It’s fine to have guy friends (and I do too- majority of my friends just happen to be guys, don’t really try or anything) but I still make time for my bf and rn us being apart just means we both have more time to hang out with other friends of ours or just do other stuff but we still talk and ask what’s up and everything