I am a guy and i know women being independent and 50-50 is a popular thing now but on the other hand i have seen comments by women that **a real man pays all** seems a little bit bitter and arrogant way of saying and borderline entitlement?
Anyways… I am a guy and have no problem about paying the entire bill but in general so many women expect a guy to pay, dine them and do everything initially and plan everything and makes me wonder till what limit a guy has to do things?
**I have heard a guy should provide, take care and and pay for stuff for his girl** ,cool but otherwise he is less of a man if he does 50-50 ?
23 comments
You have to understand that even though going 50 50 is the cool new thing. That there’s still women who were raised in a traditional manner. Just as much as ppl say there’s nothing wrong with being 50 50 there is *also* nothing wrong with being traditional.
There’s more to it then just ‘paying for shit’
A lot of women who are traditional get lumped into the whole gold digger category. When they’re two totally different things. A gold digger will just take and take and take from you and she doesn’t even like you she doesn’t care about being with you long-term she’s using you for your money.
Whereas being traditional is a belief in a lifestyle where the man is the provider and the protector and the woman takes care of the house and the kids. There’s a difference
I personally want to date a guy who makes more money than me. It’s kind of weird when everyone talks about how women make more money than men these days when that is not been the case in my experience. I’m still trying to find a job that pays me more than bullshit wages
I don’t know any woman that makes 50 or even 40K a year. All the women I know make $38,000k a year or less. So in that sense yes I do expect you to pay for the date are you kidding?
Having said that, if I’m on a date with somebody that doesn’t look like their picture and I’m not attracted to them and we aren’t clicking I insist on splitting the bill because I don’t plan on seeing this person anymore or talking to them. It would be fucked up to just make them pay for the dinner when I’ve already made up in my mind that I’m not interested. I kind of feel like that stealing. And it’s disingenuous and fucking rude.
I’m also not about doing 50/50 when it comes to living together. I’ve been in relationships before where we lived in a house and they paid for everything but I just paid for my car my phone groceries cooked and cleaned took care of the animals. That’s how I would prefer it because if we’re paying 50/50 in my opinion at that point we’re just fucking roommates and I don’t need to struggle with somebody I can struggle by myself perfectly fine. Not interested in struggle love.
But I won’t move in with somebody unless we’re married. It’s important that the guy can be a provider because at some point if he’s the right guy I want to have children and I want to be able to raise them.
People need to stop assuming and demonizing women who are traditional. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Let me ask you this: do you want someone who sees you as a wallet, or do you want someone who sees you as an equal partner and wants to contribute?
If it were me I’d be prepared to pay especially if I’d chosen where to go.
If my date offered to split I might initially say “it’s ok, it’s on me” or something, but I would back down if they then insisted. I’d be hoping they’d offer to split whether or not I took them up in it. I think it’s good for things to be fairly equal.
I probably wouldn’t actively broach the subject of splitting the bill beforehand.
No. I prefer 50/50 or taking turns. It would make me uncomfortable if a guy wouldn’t let me pitch in at all.
I always insist on 50/50 and I think it might’ve made a guy lose some interest. I hate dating.
A lady should always be prepared to pay for her own things and for her own way back home.
That doesn’t mean we want to be treated like a bro out for a drink with our buddies. Nor do we want to feel like a transaction on a business luncheon.
When two people really enjoy each other’s company they figure it out seamlessly.
I’ve had plenty of women split the bill or even pay for me, it really depends on the particular woman.
I’m always prepared to pay my own way, I usually bring cash to throw a tip in if they take the bill.
But I do find the willingness to pay as a sign of interest. It’s not the only one and not paying won’t make me ignore other good things, but it does rate in consideration.
If every date becomes counting pennies to make sure he doesn’t feel used we probably aren’t compatible. I’m fairly generous to those I care about, and I expect the same.
It’s very dependent on the woman. Some women are dating to find a husband, father, provider and others are just looking for a partner. Some are looking for a stay-at-home dad and pay all the bills from the get-go.
You should be figuring out what kind of partner you want to be and provide that. If you want and equal partnership financially, stick to splitting the bill. Pay all if you want to financially support somebody. I dump guys who get weird when I foot the bill because I’m looking for an equal partnership and am not into guys who can’t let a woman pay the bill. I see that as a sign of a weak man but others see it as a sign of strength.
The way I look at it is, its unreasonable to expect something from a partner, that you have no intention of doing for them as well. Im not a big fan of 50/50 terminology, cause to me thats keeping score…I see it in a more broad way, its putting in and getting back effort that feels fair.
Like for me, it would bother me if every time a guy invited me out, we paid half, and he never took me out on a date. But thats cause, Ive always made a point to plan out and take any partner Ive had on a date, and none have ever said they didnt really appreciate, and enjoy it. So I dont think its totally unreasonable, or entitled to want to be able to experience my partner treating me to a night out sometimes as well.
Back to 50/50 dining tabs though, the culture in the city I moved from, pretty much was a given that guys preferred to pay. So I always made a point to often invite them over for dinner. Moved, totally different culture here, but yeah, had been dating a guy who brought it up to me hed really appreciate it if I started paying half when we go out. It had never, and would never occur to me to tell a guy to pay half the groceries and the time it took me to plan and prepare a meal for him. But…I did realize, he did not see the value or appreciate date nites at my place, so we mostly just ate out after that, and any nites in we’d just order delivery and we’d pay half on that.
My point to that is…going in equally, doesnt always have to mean financially…if you feel the relationship is fair, then its fair, if you feel like its on you to do everything and the other person isnt putting in any effort, or enough to match your energy, then theres a problem
Regardless…it seriously doesnt matter if there are some women who have “you’re not a real man unless…” mentality..guys who dig whatever the stipulation is, will be totally fine with it, guys who don’t alight with that can just not date those types of women. And…vice versa is true as well. Date whoever aligns with your values, and avoid those who dont.
To begin: I make 6 figures so this isn’t coming from a place of “wanting to date up”.
I tend to like no fine-dining dates. So, if that’s a walk in the park and we see an ice cream truck and the total is under $15, i’d somewhat be like “oh okay…” If he made me pay, then my attraction will drop. Penny pinchers are the ones who dont do it for me.
But I feel like i’ve just completely conformed and folded bc that’s just modern dating. I’d prefer not to pay bc I like to cater (eg. if he’s had a rough day, bake/cook him his fav food) as the woman. My love languages are words of affirmation and for him acts of service (I’m sure he’ll have his own though). So in a perfect world, I’d love the man to pay. Kinda hot, too, i can’t lie.
But i know that’s a reality many don’t have. So, for now, i’ll be paying for what i order. Not 50/50.
I have the opposite problem where men insist to pay the whole bill to the point it makes me uncomfortable. I always make it clear pre date that I’m paying for myself and if they want to buy me something that’s nice but not necessary at all and they always pay for everything and don’t let me pay at all. It’s really weird. I only like to make for myself because men seem to think money=sex.
I am not on the 50/50 train of thought, but I would **never** consider a man *less than* because he didn’t pay the bill, he doesn’t owe me anything and I can afford to pay for a nice meal or a drink. I think there’s a lot of animosity towards that topic and unless you say you happily go 50/50 every time, you’ll get a lot of hate and downvotes because some people fail to realize that they shouldn’t take someone else’s dating style personally.
Many women love being treated, many women love going 50/50, many women love paying for the whole thing, same for men. Everyone has different views on dating and life goals, all you have to do is find someone who matches yours and everyone will be happy.
well I am 51 and just reentered the dating game. I am maybe a bit old fashioned-
I get the door for her
I allow her to pick her seat at the table
I get her chair for her if possible without seeming weird(you now how the tables are sometime way to close)
She orders first. I walk her to her car or door, Etc.
I also expect to pay for the entire date, if she offers to pay for something I will make an effort to say I don’t mind paying and if she is insistent then I just let it drop and allow her to pay. I am not going to start an argument over it. in fact on our second date with my current lady she wanted to buy us cookies and was adamant that it was her treat and it actually made me like her more for it.
on the FIRST date, the guy pays. Let’s be honest, you’re buying the time slot. The market is saturated
Just dont go somewhere expensive as a first date! Literally go get coffee or a couple beers! Theres 0 pressure and the whole thing might cost $30?
Most of the guys Ive dated didnt provide.
> otherwise he is less of a man if he does 50-50 ?
No. I did a poll & the number that split were pretty close to number that the man pays.
Don’t think there have been any studies done on this so who know. You will only get anecdotes. I think it does but only a minority of men can afford to carry the burden of paying for everything. Most people don’t earn enough.
If a man is cheap and doesn’t pay on the first date, then he isn’t really interested in the woman.
My wife pays for almost all of our dates.
She makes a lot more money than I do and it makes her happy.
And I am about as real a man as it gets.
Probably a good conversation on the dating phrase. Pre-dating phase, my best guess would be to ask if she’d wants me to buy it for her.
What they say and what they want are not the same thing.
Ur not more or less of a man to pay or do 50/50.
BUT for me personally there are caveats for me to pay for dates. The other person must show genuine interest in dating such. And at minimum atleast PRETEND they are willing to pays their share.
like they have to atleast seem really interested in being there with me and enjoying my company etc etc. jump the phone or text do social media during the date then no thx.
There are some women that think the man needs to pay. They won’t go on a second date apparently if he even suggests splitting. It all depends on the person, though.
You have to ask yourself if the opinion of a woman that thinks she never has to pay for her meals/drinks/activities matters to you. Because some men definitely wouldn’t continue dating them.
For myself, I’m fine if we get separate bills. I’ll pay my way, you pay yours. If I can’t I can’t afford it for some reason, I’d just ask for another day. I don’t think I’m owed free meals/drinks/activities. It is nice once in a while I guess? But if I was treated, I’d definitely treat as well.