My (F16) boyfriend (M16) has been obsessed with the idea of self improvement and always wants to be the best version of himself and i really respect that, i’ve always been happy for him and i support everything he does. But recently he’s been starting to change, yesterday he told me to go to the gym and do more exercises because i was too thin and he didn’t like my body and gave me a whole lecture on why i should weight lift and stuff, i already do body weight exercises frequently and it’s really hard for me to gain weight because of my poor digestive system, it hurts me a lot because i try really hard just so i can look better for him and whenever i don’t see any results he just tells me that i’m not working hard enough. Then today he told me that i had no social life at all and that i’m pathetic and he’s disappointed in me. I’m so upset, i’ve never had that many friends because i’m really bad at talking to people and my boyfriend is the exact opposite, he almost gets along with everyone and has many friends. i’m happy with my life right now, yet he keeps telling me that he’s disgusted with me and i don’t know why he has to put all of this pressure on to me.
TL;DR my boyfriend keeps judging and comparing every aspect of my life to his and makes me feel terrible because he is so obsessed with the idea of “self improvement”
6 comments
Ditch the boyfriend. His idea of “self-improvement” doesn’t include belittling others. You deserve respect, and his comments are not about your growth, but his insecurities. You’re happy with your life and that’s what matters. Keep your chin up, and know that you don’t deserve this kind of treatment.
My ex used to belittle me all the time about similar things to the point where it became normal to me. I was your age at the time, so trust me when I say you do not need a boyfriend who is going to be mean to you. Because that’s what it is, it’s mean. IDGAF if he decided to go to the gym and suddenly feels special about himself, that does not make you less worthy of kindness and attention. I am shy too and so I know it’s a struggle, but there WILL be others. And don’t let him tell you he’s “just worried about you” because he’s old enough to find a way to show concern without being disrespectful, and it’s not your job to teach him that. Nor is it his job to dictate your happiness and what is best for you.
I’m 40+. I came to tell you that however you feel about him at 16, it will pass and he won’t be your life partner. Let him loose.
Find a new boyfriend.
Your too young for this shit. That behavior is for your 30s.
>i’m happy with my life right now
Hold on to this feeling. And in true Reddit fashion I am gonna say …drop the boyfriend. You do not need someone projecting their own insecurities on you.