I met this really cute girl at work last year, really sweet and really seemed into me. The first few months we got to know eachother I kinda trauma dumped about all my previous relationships and she respected my space even though I think she really wanted to ask me out. Eventually (6 months) after our friendship turned into a mutual “i like you and i know you like me” flirtatious back and forth, I confessed my feelings to her. She was like “girl I’ve liked you since I first met you” we started going out and seeing sporting events and getting coffee but only for about a week.
Then, late at night over text she says: “I like you but I think I struggle with this thing called ‘limerence’” and explains that she basically has this illness that makes her obsess over everyone she is ever even remotely interested in. And I guess she felt that way about me at first and didn’t really understand that’s what was happening until we started going out. She then said that because of this thing she has, we should probably just remain friends because she can’t really trust her feelings.
Now, this had been a really new “relationship” so i was calm and not completely broken about it and tried to be respectful and understanding… but after I thought about it more – I got pretty bummed and actually cried to myself: because hearing your crush liked you but only because of a mental illness really fucking SUCKS to hear.
I’m trying my hardest to be her friend, but I really liked her and allowed myself to like her more because I thought she liked me… so im ngl it hurts to hear her talk about other people romantically and it hurts to have conversations with her knowing it can go nowhere besides just friends.
I kind if want to tell her how I feel but I don’t even know if that’s the right move…
What should I do?
TL:DR, crush accepted my confession and we dated, but rejected me literally a week later because of her newly discovered mental illness.
4 comments
OP, please share how old you are. You both sound very young.
Please learn from this experience. This is why most people advise against dating anyone from work. I think you’re now finding out part of why this is usually good advice.
I think you have to be honest with her and kind to yourself.
Talk with her and explain that, at the moment, this is too difficult for you and you need to step back from the friendship.
Who knows what the future may bring, but right now you need to do the best you can to heal and move on.
Hey, OP- you are 0% obligated to let someone know how you feel and why. Cut ties, immediately, without explanation and block all forms of contact. Get in to therapy ASAP. Your #1 priority in life needs to be understanding of yourself and how that influences your interactions with others. Nobody else takes precedence.
Once you are in a solid and healthy place, you can pursue something of substance. You are not there yet. That’s okay, but it’s still true. That airplane rule about the oxygen masks applies to real life- do not EVER apply someone else’s mask before securing your own.
Cut ties, i think she is just playing with you. And if it hurts being friends you better stop being that.