My (22f) partner (22m) and I have been together since we were 15. We attended different university’s and broke up due to long distance. After a year we got back together and I moved to his university so we lived in the same city.
He is now planning on going to the uk for his phd and I feel stuck. I’m not sure wether to go with him or not. It’s a very niche situation and I am aware not many people go through this.
I am very career driven and I feel moving to uk is scary. I leave behind my friends and family and by the time he plans to go (late 2024) I may be in a good job where I currently am and not want to leave. But I don’t know wether to commit to moving overseas or saying I’m not coming so I don’t string him along. And if I ultimately decide to not go, is it plausible to break up with him?
I do not want to hold him back and it’s been his dream for ever but i have my dreams too. Everyone around me says how cool of an opportunity it would be for us but I only see it as an opportunity for him and not me. I’m not mentally prepared to be that secluded from everything and one I know. He’d be gone for 3-4 years.
Do I follow him or not? Is there any point carrying on the relationship if I’m not going to go?
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TL;DR – partner moving overseas for PhD (southern to northern hemisphere) and not sure wether I follow him or pursue my dreams
1 comment
It depends, does he want to stay in the UK/Europe after his PhD? If I understand it correctly you mostly want to stay close to your Family/friends. Of course a valid argument. But looking from another perspective, a few years abroad can also be good for your career if we’re talking about a corporate environment. So it might be worth considering joining him for the duration of his PhD. But if he isn’t planning to come back to your home country after it might be best to talk about this with him and draw conclusions.