We are currently long distance for around 8 months but were previously living closer and will be living closer again soon for context.
I occassionally find that my girlfriend would say something that she would not be okay with if the roles were reversed, if I point it out she will kinda laugh it off. I feel like this is slightly unfair but I don’t know how to approach it. It’s not like it’s a huge issue it just kinda bugs me.
The only example I can really remember right now is about porn.
She says that she doesn’t want me watching porn and if I did she would delete any nude pictures she has sent, I believe this is because she is slightly jealous (of me watching other women) but it’s okay I understand that some people are not okay with porn. The problem is that she masturbates exclusively to porn and doesn’t see the same problem with it as me watching it, I don’t really care about her watching porn, I care that she doesn’t let me watch it but has no issue watching it herself.
For the record the pictures she sends me are topless only, I asked her recently about sending videos or pictures of her lower half or of her touching herself (as that would be more sexual etc) but she is uncomfortable with it. I have sent her pictures of myself naked as well as masturbated for her on video calls so it’s not like she never gets anything from me.
I guess for this issue I am just frustrated as I never really get to masturbate to anything sexual.
Somewhat related to this, she sent me {picture of naked blue dude from avatar, kinda funny} when we called today
Firstly she asked when I would send her a picture like that, I figure she is only half serious for this one but she would never send me a picture like this so I don’t get why she asks me for it.
Secondly she also was saying like look how big it is, I replied jokingly saying “alright alright don’t stare too much now” and she said “he has small balls though” and I told her “what if the roles were reversed u wouldn’t like it” and again she brushed it off. She would HATE if I sent her a picture of a naked character and was saying look how big her boobs are. Again I don’t really care if she looks at this art I mean it’s not like it’s real, I think it’s just unfair considering how she would react to the same thing.
TL:DR Girlfriend does/says minor things that she herself would not be comfortable with the other way around, How do I bring it up in an adult manner without offending her?
1 comment
Speak up, pal. Let her know straight, you’re not okay with this double standard. It’s gotta be fair game for both of you, or none at all. You’re not a doormat, so, don’t let her walk over you. You have feelings too, and it’s high time she respects them.
Don’t fear offending her, be honest. If she gets upset, well, that’s on her, not you. And if she can’t handle it? You may need to rethink if this relationship is right for you. It’s about respect, and right now, she’s lacking in that department.