Do you actually care if someone at your social outing is awkward or quiet?

28 comments

1. If you ask a bunch of extroverts, most of them would probably care.

2. depends. says a lot more about the ideals of the people judging.

   if a person is quiet and not contributing much, then it would bother some people.

3. If the awkwardness is heavily impacting then or the gathering I would care, but in the sense of finding a comfortable compromise and being able to assist.

   As the person who usually hangs out with the pets at most gatherings, folk are just plain quiet sometimes and that is just fine. Have a thing to say? I’ll welcome it. Proximity comfort and restful silence? Cheers.

4. It just works itself out most of the time.

   People want to be around other people with the same energy.

5. In all honesty I’d prefer to be around quiet people. I don’t talk that much, and with more social people it feels like there’s a pressure to be talkative.

6. I’d probably ask them if they’re okay and, if they tell me they’re fine, then I’d leave them to daydream and contribute when they feel like it.

7. I care about snobbery and sometimes can’t tell the difference right away. I like shy people, though. It gives me a chance to be assertive.

8. As an extroverted extrovert who talks a lot here’s my two cents:

   If I know the person to be a quiet one, or have been told by people that they are quiet I will leave them be. I understand some people enjoy watching conversations rather than engaging in them.

   If I just met the person and they aren’t talking a lot, I will attempt to invite them into a conversation by asking them questions about the topic at hand. Since I don’t know them, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they are just awkward and don’t know how to engage, so I try to extend an olive branch. If they are not responding, or lose engagement quickly, I let them be.

   So do I care if they are quiet? Not really, it just changes my strat for the game of conversationing.

9. I don’t care, we probably laugh at the same videos.

10. Nope, don’t care at all, because it’s me that’s the akward and quiet one lol.

11. Yes I do. I’ll be worried if something is wrong, if they feel sick, tired, etc… If none of those match up after asking there could be some ways I could think. If they own it I’d just roll with it and not think much about it. If they’re visibly distressed I’d think they suffer from social anxiety and feel pity. There’s many more scenarios but I’ll keep it there.

    Most of the time it doesn’t matter. Sometimes I talk too much and people find that annoying, sometimes I’m quiet and people find that weird, sometimes I’m pretty normal and people find that very odd because most often I’m loud or very quiet.

    People will ALWAYS judge, that’s how we’re wired. You shouldn’t feel less confident about yourself because of that. If you’re a quiet person then own it, that’ll make people feel more comfortable around you. If you seem visibly distressed then those around you will start to think or also become distressed.

    I’m an introvert btw, but with the right people I kinda become an extrovert.

12. Not in the slightest, I’ve often found they are are more advanced and interesting to talk to.

13. Sure I care, i want to give em a hug and let em know that it’s ok to just exist and vibe. I’ll take that over someone talking just to hear their own voice any day.

14. It really depends. It has bothered me a little in the past if someone is quiet.

15. As someone who has overcome a lot of social anxiety I used to have in the past, being around someone now who is socially awkward sometimes makes me uncomfortable because I know what it used to be like and having them around kind of brings me back to that same feeling. But that’s just me and everyone will react differently. Just remember that you can’t control how they react to you

16. When I was younger, I cared bc of my own insecurity of being awkward. I was also a little shit that cared what the other kids would think about me if they saw me hanging around other awkward ppl, so even if I made a good friend, I’d shrug them off if they were also awkward. Missed out on a lot of kind ppl that way that were struggling the same way I was to make friends. Luckily, I gained some god damn sense (which was *greatly* needed) as the years passed and welcome the awkward ppl with an even more awkward smile. As an adult, idc if someone is awkward. I just try to make them feel more comfortable

17. I don’t like talking in large groups usually just a one liner here or there but sometimes I just don’t want to engage. If someone was being quiet I’d just leave them alone.

18. I’ve thought about it and I think if you literally dont talk or only respond with one word people are probably going to register it as rude cus they think u dont want to talk to them or you’ll probably be ignored but if theres an outgoing person and they end up talking to the awkward/ quiet person they’re probably going to end up stuck to ur hip so they’ll eventually get you to talk more and stop being akward

19. I’m normally the awkward or quite one, so I only care if it effects the people around me. I always try to engage of course, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. Some people deffinitely seem weirded out by it and some people don’t mind, or I get lucky and have someone try to interact with me out of curiosity. Either way, if I go to a function its because I want to be apart of it, it sucks to be the quiet one but its just the way I am

20. I would PREFER if someone is relatively quiet.

    (So I’m not the only one, haha.)

21. As a quiet person, I have noticed the answer is sometimes yes, at least among my coworkers when we have lunch or water cooler chats.

    Conversations are kind of like bonfires, you want people to throw in a log and make a contribution to keep the fire going. If nobody makes an effort the fire goes out, so people appreciate effort.

    If people notice you don’t make contributions to the conversation and see you as just “there,” not actually doing anything, they won’t gravitate toward you because you’re not offering them much—they know that they’ll have to make all the contributions and that can be tiring and awkward for them. It’s not that they won’t like you, but they might not be excited to spend time with you and you might be their last pick among who to sit down next to / have a chat with.

22. It depends on the awkwardness. If they’re just a quiet person standing in the corner? No. But if they can’t read ANY social cues and make people uncomfortable? Then yeah. There’s nothing wrong with not always knowing what to say or do, but if you’re saying/doing weird shit, then I’m gonna walk away, lol.

23. I couldn’t care less either. Sometimes it might make me try to talk to them and include them but if they want to just sit there all night it’s really no bother

24. Nope. I don’t care. And by that I mean it doesn’t matter to me how they wanna behave.

    There are different dynamics in 1:1 and group settings. Some people are better at 1:1 and some others in group settings. How you portray yourself in 1:1 may also be different from how you portray yourself in group settings.

    If I see someone being on their own or behaving awkwardly, I’ll reach out and just adjust my behaviour to accommodate their comfort.

25. I would say if it were an outing that I organized I would be concerned as to whether they were having a good time or not.

    In an outing that is not organized by me I am likely that person and it’s okay most of the time, people tend to understand that I’m a little shy, it’s not like I fucked the planet or anything

26. I find it rather amusing. The more awkward and quiet someone is, the less they’re likely to engage in mindless chatter. It’s the incessant talkers you should be wary of. They’re often the ones with the least to say.

27. I don’t care. As an introvert who enjoys socializing, I usually try to do what I can to make them part of the socializing, if it seems like that’s what they want.

    I like to use this strategy. When I recognize someone is being quiet or uncomfortable, I strike up a conversation by introducing myself, then immediately ask them a deep question, usually based on an observation about the situation. Their reaction allows me to make some assessments:

    1. Are they an introvert who just doesn’t like the monotony of small talk, do they just have poor social skills, or do they seem to have social anxiety?
    2. Are they just looking for an opening to be included in groups, are they fighting legitimate anxiety at this very moment, or do they just prefer to stay in the background and observe?

    My interaction will vary based on these assessments. Ultimately, people are either like dogs (extroverts) or cats (introverts.) Neither group really *gets* the other group, and often judges them harshly. I like to help facilitate the cats and dogs playing together.

28. I care in the sense that if you’re abnormally quiet I’ll ask you “what’s going on”