What did you learn from previous (toxic) relationships that turned into life lessons?

12 comments

1. Be truthful

2. [removed]

3. It took a long time to learn this.

   My abusive ex told me that I’d become more like him (meaning meaner and less trusting) “once I get older and learn how the world works.”

   I got older. I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out how the world works; it’s hard! Double hard if you’re poor! So I’ve become softer, kinder, and more compassionate.

4. That you can’t expect a healthy relationship with anyone if you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself first.

   My insecurities have made every great relationship I’ve had fail.
   Choose yourself first. Love yourself first.
   Kinda difficult to ask someone to love you if you can’t even love yourself.
   Took a very long time for me to see this.

5. Being honest/having open communication rather than trying to beat around the bush with the person or just lying constantly.

6. Communicating your feelings for the love of God, I had a relationship where communication was lacking rlly badly and now with my last relationship it nearly ended because of guess what? lack of communication, so express your feelings and issues damn it

7. Don’t let someone treat you badly. No matter how much you love them

8. – Look out for lovebombing.

   Things are supposed to be awkward in the beginning. There are supposed to be awkward silences. No one clicks in the first meeting. If you get along just perfectly from day one, there’s disappointment stored in the future. Listen to this, even in books you gotta let some chapters go for you to just start loving it.

   – Believe the red flags, the first time they show. It’s never going to change.

   – If it’s not funny to you, it’s not a joke. No, you’re not too sensitive or not overreacting.

9. It won’t improve, the person whom you fell in love with is long gone, so stop hoping for better days.

10. If he hits you once, he will hit you again. Leave him asap.

11. I have a sister who can be really fun and silly, but she had a bad temper and doesn’t handle her anger well. And she is easily annoyed.

    When something happens that she doesn’t like she gets on her phone and blows me up with text messages, saying like the absolute meanest shit.

    So after her last blow up, I closed the door. I cannot image saying the things that she says to people out loud, and I don’t want to spend my time around people who behave that way.

    It does not matter that she is my sister, she’s intentionally mean and hurtful. I’m not a fan. My life feels much more peaceful without her stirring up stuff. No self awareness at all.

    As cliche as it sounds, when you close a door a new one will open. You can rechannel that energy in to more vibrant gardens.

12. To ALWAYS trust my gut. It’s never been wrong, but I’ve ignored it before, and I’ve learned my lessons. If something feels off, it’s probably because it is.